This is a quick one today, denizens, due to insanity well out of my control. However, I had a few easy posts planned, just in case something like this occurred. She’s a planner, that wily Loba.

I’ve previously ragged on the TNG episode “Sub Rosa” for being some of the most cliched and smutty Trek ever. However, one great thing came from this episode, and that is finally getting to see Dr. Crusher in a dress uniform. Actually, I do believe that this was also the first time we saw Counselor Troi in a dress uniform as well…but this isn’t Troitober, so we don’t care about this bit of trivia, now do we?

No.

Here, then, is a lovely screen capture of Dr. Crusher in her dress blues:

And, because I also very much enjoyed the dress uniforms designed for the TNG crew for their movies, here is Dr. Crusher in her dress whites:

AND…because I love you all so much and because I think it’s a fantastic candid shot, here is a re-post of a photo I found on TrekCore.com of Gates McFadden, in her Dr. Crusher dress whites, hugging one of the most awesome people on this planet: Trek make-up artist extraordinaire Michael Westmore:

I don’t know much of anything about what goes on at trade shows. I’ve never been to one, and I don’t think I’ve ever looked into learning about their various intricacies and activities. So I don’t know if this is, indeed, a trade show item…or if I’ve been supremely snookered.

Either way, this is one of my favorite Dr. Crusher-related eBay finds ever.

The seller described this as an action figure he picked up at a trade show several years ago. It was from the Playmates booth, and was a figure from a proposed “Warp Factor Series 8” line they were preparing. Right off the bat, there’s a problem. Again, according to this list, it looks like there were only five Warp Factor runs.

However, that’s sort of the anachronistic icing on what is just a HUGE anachronistic cake. Observe:

Tell me this isn’t the most awesome bit of action figure WTFery you’ve ever seen. The more I look at it, the more I’m convinced this is one of the best custom action figure jobs ever done. The packaging looks hand-done, and by that, I mean the graphics look like they were done in PhotoShop. The images on the back, for instance, are low-resolution printouts. And the image of Dr. Bashir in no way looks like him…or his actual action figure. Also, the Dr. Crusher figure photo on the back is quite low-res and quite poorly focused. However, the design itself is almost perfect.

Same with the graphics on the front. I can tell you that whoever did the front graphic card, if this is a custom job, did a beautiful job of combining the card information from Cadet Beverly Howard-Crusher and Captain Beverly Picard (the cadet action figure was the only one marketed with Dr. Crusher’s maiden name, while the accessories included with this figure are identical to the ones included with Captain Bev Picard). In fact, if you look closely enough at the graphic area right next to “Beverly,” you can make out some color fluctuations that could have come from morphing a graphic to cover where the word “Cadet” would have appeared on the original package graphic.

But now I’ve gone off the rails with my geekery.

Look at the actual figure. It’s definitely Dr. Crusher’s head…the same head, in fact, from the Captain Beverly Picard figure. But that body. As I pointed out yesterday, Dr. Crusher never wore a DS9-era medical uniform. She most certainly didn’t wear one during the run of TNG, which is when this uniform would have existed, as indicated by the TNG-era comm badge. Also, Dr. Crusher was never a lieutenant when we “knew” her. See, look at this close-up:

No, I’m almost positive that this body was originally topped by a Jadzia Dax head. And this is starting to look more and more like the mother of all custom figures.

I’ve never seen mention of any ditched Beverly Crusher figures that match this description, and I’ve never again seen a similar figure being sold or mentioned anywhere else. Of course, as I said at the beginning of this post, I don’t know anything about trade shows, so I don’t know if something like this would be a common product shown at said shows. If anyone out there reading this knows anything about the trade show mystique and can shed some light on whether or not this is legit or a beautiful ruse, please drop me a line.

Regardless of the “truthiness” of this figure’s history or existence, I think it’s utterly brilliant and one of my favorite pieces of Bevernalia and geekanalia in general.

Amazingly enough, for a character as underutilized as Dr. Crusher was on the show, she did receive her fair share of action figure love. True, she was the only character who didn’t get an action figure in the initial 1992 release of TNG characters (don’t think I didn’t notice this…and don’t think I didn’t drive people crazy at the Toys R Us and KB Toys, asking them when the Dr. Crusher figure would be released).

However, once her inaugural figure came out with the first 1993 batch, there was no stopping her. According to this list, in fact, Dr. Crusher was immortalized in plastic a grand total of 10 times (including the Tiny Beverly from the transforming medical tricorder that I previously discussed).

Yes, this does in fact mean that Dr. Crusher was the recipient of more action figures than actual episodes dedicated to her character.

I know you’ll all be surprised to hear this, but I don’t actually have all 10 of the Playmates Dr. Crusher action figures. There was one Dr. Crusher figure that was scheduled to be released as part of the Target exclusive “Starfleet Command” line, but at the last minute she and a cobalt biosuit Seven of Nine were scrapped from the line-up in the United States and only a small batch was sold in Europe and Australia. You can find both Dr. Crusher and Seven on this page, along with a few other hard-to-find Playmates action figures. This was the last Dr. Crusher to be made by Playmates, and one of the last batches of Trek action figures made by Playmates until their crappy 2009 movie figures (to go along with that crappy 2009 movie).

Here, then, are the Dr. Crusher action figures from my collection (minus the First Contact Dr. Crusher, who is still on my desk at work, taming her zebra). First, the ones I removed from their packaging:

From left to right, these are: Cadet Beverly Howard-Crusher, Dr. Crusher wearing a uniform that was initially designed for the first TNG movie Generations but was scrapped at the last minute (although I believe there’s supposedly one scene in which you can still see Geordi wearing this design), Captain Beverly Picard (who is on a stand and holding a PADD because I still display her on a shelf; I love how commanding she looks), Dr. Crusher in her lab coat (this was the first Dr. Crusher action figure), and Dr. Crusher in her 1940s attire from “The Big Goodbye” (and, no, you’re not imagining things and your monitor isn’t crooked; she is leaning to one side because one of her legs wasn’t quite as long as the other).

These next two are still MIP because I bought them long after the Playmates action figure craze (thank the prophets for eBay, that’s all I’m saying):

On the left is Dr. Crusher in a DS9-era jumpsuit, which I don’t think we ever actually saw Dr. Crusher wear. Remember, this uniform was introduced to the TNG crew in their first movie…but not all of the characters wore it. Some of them, including Dr. Crusher, still wore the TNG show uniforms. You know, because things like uniformity and cohesion won’t really be all that important in the 24th century military. I mean, hell, if you look closely enough at some of those scenes from Generations, you’ll catch glimpses of Worf in a paisley tutu and Data in tennis shorts. On the right is Dr. Crusher in her regular TNG-era uniform, sans lab coat.

Once the Playmates action figure line died away, most fans assumed that was the end of the action figure legacy, at least for a while. Which was true to a point. Then Art Asylum and Diamond Select Toys came along, first starting with a line of Enterprise action figures that were far larger and far more detailed than anything that Playmates ever made during their almost 10-year run. Soon DST was designing action figures for TNG and DS9 (there’s a lingering promise of a Seven of Nine action figure as the first, and probably only, Voyager action figure, but I seriously doubt we’ll ever see her).

Again, Dr. Crusher has received her fair share of DST figures:

From left to right is Dr. Crusher from DST’s Nemesis line, their original Dr. Crusher in her TNG-era uniform, and Captain Beverly Picard from the last TNG episode “All Good Things…” Yes, they’re all still MIP. I like them that way for now, thank you. Besides, I have another TNG-era Dr. Crusher that I did remove from her packaging. She’s even been featured here at the lair before, back when I was going a bit stir-crazy last winter from all the snow.

The DST figures are superior to the Playmates figures for many reasons, least of which is the amazing detail of each figure. These actually look like their respective characters. Plus, they have amazing articulation and really cool accessories. I love Diamond Select and have never been disappointed by their figures (I have, however, been disappointed on several occasions regarding action figures that I was looking forward to them releasing but that were canceled at the last minute). However, I also think that they’re a reflection of the changing prerogatives of their target audience. These DST figures are not for children…at least not “actual” children. No, they’re for the adults who never really grew up. Like me and the rest of my geeky allies who were so enamored of the Playmates figures and would love to see something new.

So there you have it: almost all of my Dr. Crusher action figures. Tomorrow, I’ll have something extra special for you. I know, I know…you can hardly stand the antici…pation, right?

For all their silliness and over-the-top strangeness, I love Dr. Crusher’s scenes when she first enters the holodeck in the TNG episode “The Big Goodbye” (which, of course, is the episode from which I pulled the images for my very first Doctober posting).

http://www.youtube-nocookie.com/v/ZqhbHLQl0Ss?fs=1&hl=en_US&color1=0x006699&color2=0x54abd6

I say silly and strange because, right out of the gates (haha), would you enter the holodeck if those doors were wigging out like that? I’m going to have to say no, Bob. I most definitely would not. Of course, I also would hightail it in the opposite direction if I was alone in a dark house and I heard a strange noise coming from the attic or basement. I’d apparently make both a terrible sci-fi and horror movie character.

I also highly doubt that Dr. Crusher wouldn’t know basic things like how to “powder her nose,” regardless of the “ancient” trinket she’s found in that ginormous purse of hers. What? Do the women of the future just stick their faces into a replicator in the mornings and have their makeup applied that way? And would gum really no longer exist in the future? For some reason, this has always made me feel a bit sad. Everyone should know the joy of chewing gum now and again. And bubble blowing, too! I always wanted to see Data try to blow a bubble with a fat piece of Bubblelicious.

Also, listen to Data speak to Dr. Crusher when she enters the police station. “What’s cookin’? He’s on ice. He’s bein’ grilled.” Those lines would have worked had Data actually been able to use contractions but had made the conscious choice not to use them (which was Roddenberry’s original intent for the character). However, Data was supposedly unable to use contractions. It simply wasn’t within the parameters of his programming. So, regardless of the fact that he’s “in character” at this time, he still shouldn’t be able to contract words.

But now I’m nit-geeking.

Never mind all this though. These are some great scenes that once again showcase how lovely, funny, and physical Gates McFadden was in this role. Her quick teeter down the stairs in the police station always makes me laugh at how simple and small the moment is, but how delightfully executed it is as well. I stand by my conviction that she was perfectly wonderful as Dr. Crusher and that she could have made this character one of the standouts of the series if only more writers had given her opportunities like the ones given to her in this episode.

Something simple and silly this morning, denizens: This is my First Contact Dr. Crusher action figure astride a zebra stress squishie. She sits on my desk here at work. Right next to her is Data on a cow stress squishie (but he’s not in this photo because this is Doctober, not Datatober, dammit).

And to think that some people actually hide their geekery…

A long time ago, in a geekery long since tempered (but obviously not by much), I wrote a novella all about Dr. Crusher. I know that I have mentioned this many times here. I also know that I have never really given any details on the novella beyond the fact that it’s about Dr. Crusher.

The truth is, it’s quite an embarrassing bit of writing, and I’ve only ever showed it to a handful of people I know and trust (to those whom I will probably never meet who bought my story, I’m very sorry; my only excuse is that I wrote it when I was 15-17 years old…and I was a raging nerd with limited life experience at the time).

What I will show you all, however, is the cover art that I drew for the story. Once upon a midnight dreary, I also considered myself an artiste. I used to practice sketching and everything. I haven’t done that in years, however, so who knows what my sketching would look like now. One step up from stick figures, I suppose 😉

Here, then, is probably the last pencil sketch I ever completed (minus the outline sketches I do for work designs or random doodles jotted down during staff meetings). These are the three primary characters from my story. I know so many of you are surprised right now. The empty white space is from where I removed the title of the novella. A geek’s gotta keep some things to herself, you know…

You know it’s going to be a long assignment when your first regular day on duty, your son takes over Engineering, you end up becoming infected with a virus that makes you feel drunk, and you try to jump the captain in his ready room…

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ksR1ZCfpg3A&w=480&h=390]

I know these scenes are from an episode of TNG that most fans deride, both for being a ripoff of a TOS episode and for being a horrible choice for a first episode right after the pilot. Even the actors hated this show because, they argued, how were they supposed to know abnormal behavior for these characters when they hadn’t even had time to establish normal for them?

Still, I laugh at the blatant, ballsy lust with which Crusher goes after Picard. This is the only time we ever see this kind of behavior from her (although it does make one wonder what might have happened had Jean-Luc ever tried to split a bottle of Chateau Picard with her over dinner one evening). The rest of the time, it’s usually Picard doing some sort of subtle pursuing while she gently but consistently rebuffs him.

The story that Gates McFadden always tells about her audition for TNG is that her agent arranged for her to go to Paramount a few days before she was scheduled to leave to return to the NYC theater scene. So she went in, met with TPTB, and proceeded to ask which of the female roles was the funniest. Well, the scene they had for the Dr. Crusher role was this ready room scene from “The Naked Now.” Obviously way funnier than anything for Tasha Yar or Deanna Troi (you know, other than Deanna’s hair from that first season).

So McFadden chose Dr. Crusher, did her audition based on this scene, and the rest is history. I wish that Dr. Crusher had lived up to the funny, flirty bawdiness of this scene, not only for McFadden but also for viewers. Could you imagine seven seasons (because, in my world, Dr. Crusher would have stayed on the Enterprise…where she belonged) of watching her develop as a character, knowing that this kind of humor and teasing disregard for Picard’s stuffiness roiled right beneath the surface?

[Loba Tangent: One more thing before I jet…hear the noise that Picard makes at one point while Dr. Crusher is standing very close? I believe that is the noise that is supposed to signify when he becomes infected as well. Here’s the thing: This virus was only transmitted through touch. The camera is well close to their faces, so we can’t really see what’s going on beyond their heads. This moment has always made me wonder: Where, exactly, is Dr. Crusher touching him right then?]