I’ve heard of people who only have one thing on their mind…but this is taking it a bit too far, don’t you think?
Geekery
Bouncy Sunday
No real explanation or reason for this one, denizens. October has been a pretty Trek-less month so far, and so I thought a little Janeway bounce would do the trick. I also wouldn’t mind some of that coffee she’s bogarting…
Oh My God, It’s Full of Smurfs
I Are An Alumni
When did the word “alumni” become both the singular and plural form of itself? I’m just wondering, because obviously it had to happen at some point without my knowledge. After all, that seems to me to be the only logical explanation for why colleges and universities all across the United States issue “Alumni of” merchandise. I’m sure those of you here in the practice colonies have seen this on a regular basis, on bumper stickers, window clings, license plate holders…et cetera ad nauseum.
Here’s the problem: Unless your name is Sybil or you’re part of the Borg Collective, you’re not an alumni. You’re either an alumnus (for boys) or an alumna (for girls). The only time you’re alumni is when you’re part of a group of people who graduated from the same school…unless you’re a girl and part of a group of all-girl graduates. Then you’re alumnae.
Yes, it does get complicated. But not really. Not if you’ve received proper schooling on the matter, which I always thought was the purpose of earning a college degree in the first place. So what does it say that our own institutions of higher education can’t even be bothered to get right something as simple as this?
To be fair, I have seen merchandise with the correct word used. I’ve even seen merchandise imprinted with “Alumna,” which was most impressive. These instances are few and far between, though.
Okay, semantics rant over for now. I are finished.
Something Wicked This Way Comes…Sooner or Later
When I’m not completely geeking out about all things sci-fi, I’m usually having a nerdspasm over musicals. Yeah, I can’t really explain that one either. I understand that they are an acquired taste, and that most people can’t stand how characters will break out into song in the middle of a poignant moment. My response to that complaint is…that’s why it’s called a musical.
My response usually gets a dirty look. I’m okay with that.
Anyway, I’ve made no secret of my Wicked love. First, I think Gregory Maguire’s book is brilliant. In the truest tradition of L. Frank Baum, Maguire has penned a story with powerful undercurrents of political and social commentary. Maguire’s text is far more adult, however, and really works as more of an anti-fairytale. He turns those beloved Ozians on their ears in incredible yet highly satisfying ways. I find it mildly off-putting that he now seems set to write these alternative reality books for all the Ozian characters. His latest is a book about the Cowardly Lion, which I admittedly have not read (truth is, I haven’t even read the Wicked sequel, Son of a Witch, even though I bought it the week it came out…in January of 2005; you all have no idea the depths of my book backlog).
Of course, Maguire’s novel and the musical based upon it are about as different as Baum’s novel and the MGM movie (which, in case you’ve missed it, turned 70 this year). The musical version of Wicked, in fact, significantly alters and dumbs down Maguire’s original story in ways that could have been potentially damning to the musical if left to incompetent people. Thankfully, Stephen Schwartz and Winnie Holzman are far from incompetent, and the end result is a Tony-winning musical that I love so much that the keystone of my 30th birthday trip across the pond was getting to see Idina Menzel reprise her role as Elphaba. That’s love, my friends.
So, what’s the point of all this? Well, during a recent virtual stroll through IMDb’s lists of upcoming movies, I stumbled upon this listing in the 2010 section. Wha? Wicked on screen? That would be wicked, indeed…if done properly, a la Chicago.
I quickly began disseminating this joyous news, giddy with fear-tinged joy over the thought of my current favorite musical being brought to the big screen as soon as next year. And then A2 (who hates musicals, by the way) pointed out the release date listed on IMDb: 2016.
2016?
W. T. F.?
Talk about delayed gratification. I guess this is still all nothing more than someone’s pipe dream right now. Although, I’ve always known that this would end up heading to the big screen at some point. After all, it was produced by Universal Pictures. But waiting until 2016? I had hopes that the original “witches” might be considered to reprise their roles as Galinda and Elphaba for the movie. Of course, how often does that ever happen, right? But with a delay like this, I don’t think either will be able to pass as teenagers anymore…unless they want to go all 90210 on us (Andrea Zuckerman was almost 30!!!).
Oh well. Things do change. Maybe this weird release date will change. Hell, maybe TPTB will change their minds about making the movie at all! Movies based on musicals notoriously fall flat 9 times out of 10 anymore. I think it’s all that crazy singing they do…
The Future of Customer Service
And I thought we had shitty customer service now…
Going Green, 24th Century Style
My company is going “green” crazy. It’s now part of our mission statement, part of our daily grind…even our e-mail signatures all have to have a “think before you print this” tagline. It’s a bit silly, but I know that their hearts are in the right place. Plus, I got a free water bottle and coffee mug out of the deal, so we’re all winners, right?
Seems that recycling is going to be around well into the 24th century. Don’t believe me? Check it:
The lovely Rutian with Commander Will Riker is Head of Security Alexana Devos, played by Kerrie Keane in the third season TNG episode “The High Ground.” Strikes quite a pose in her militaristic uniform, no?
Fast forward to Voyager’s fourth season episode “Random Thoughts,” and Chief Examiner Nimari of the Mari, played by Gwynyth Walsh:
Not only is Ms. Walsh a “Trekcyclable” actress (not recognizing her without her furrowed brow and excessive Kleavage? It’s B’Etor, byatches!), but that Mari uniform is so 2366 Rutian! They may not be the same costume, but someone went digging through patterns and revived this oldie but goodie with some subtle alterations.
And before you ask, yeah, I really am this geeky. Don’t mock it…you know you like it.
Quis Custodiet Ipsos Custodes?
Who watches the Watchmen? Unfortunately, last night I did.
Maybe I’m too critical for my own good. Maybe I over-analyze. Maybe I should just turn off my brain and let my visceral side take over when I watch movies.
Or maybe Hollywood should start making movies that live up to the dizzying heights of their well-oiled hype machine.
Believe me when I say I really did want to like this movie. I wanted to love it. I very much enjoyed the graphic novel, right up to the point near the end when I felt it fell apart significantly. The positive thing I can say about the movie version is that they did, indeed, fix the ending to be a little less…laughable. But, by the time I made it to the new ending, I couldn’t be bothered to care anymore. This movie was 2 hours 43 minutes long. And it felt 2 hours and 43 minutes long. That’s never a good sign.
In its favor, the movie looks spectacular. I expected nothing less from Zack Snyder, who directed 300. I love 300. I think it is one of the most visually spectacular movies ever made. I have several issues with the story itself, but I can let most of them go and focus on the beauty of the film.
The problem with doing that with Watchmen is the fact that the storyline should have been more important than making sure Rorschach’s mask blotches flowed properly or Dr. Manhattan’s blue peener was shimmery enough. The story is the power and the beauty of Watchmen. That unfortunately felt like it got lost in the focus on the effects. Also, I feel like if I hadn’t already read the novel, I would have been lost because so much exposition had been peeled away (again, though, the movie was almost 3 butt-numbing hours as it was).
Another major problem with this movie version? These superheroes shouldn’t possess super powers. That was one of the most important truths of the original novel: Minus Dr. Manhattan, they’re just everyday people who slap on masks and go after the baddies. These movie Watchmen? All that fancy footwork and concrete-cracking fighting action looks fantastic…but it’s wrong. They’re supposed to be like us. I don’t know about you, though, but if someone slammed my head into a countertop, I don’t think I’d be getting back up any time soon. I also don’t have the ability to punch someone’s humerus hard enough to cause it to shatter through their skin. Maybe it’s time I started working on that…
The key to making this movie really click right from the start was Rorschach. That’s where it began to unravel for me. Jackie, Christian Bale is going to kick your ass if you don’t give him back his shit Batman voice. Seriously, this was the most distracting voiceover since the original cut of Blade Runner. Otherwise, I suppose Haley was okay…but I’m pissed with him for being the new Freddy Krueger, so I don’t want to say anything else nice about him.
Other casting choices? Jeffrey Dean Morgan was spot-on as the Comedian. Patrick Wilson was brilliant as the second Nite Owl. Matt Frewer was almost unrecognizable as Moloch. All the others? Meh. I don’t much care for Billy Crudup as either an actor or a person. Matthew Goode? Sorry, but no one’s going to be looking upon his Ozymandias and despairing any time soon.
Also, Malin, honey. Yes, you’re lovely. Now put your tsitskas back into your Silk Spectre costume and go get some acting lessons. Oh, and Lucy Lawless would like you to know that, no, you can’t have the part of Xena. That’s still hers.
Now, a personal gripe with both the movie and the original source material concerning the character of Sally Jupiter, the original Silk Spectre and the new Silk Spectre’s mother. Here be spoilers from two movies, so skip the next couple of paragraphs if you’d rather not have anything ruined for you. This is more like a gripe about Hollywood’s treatment of women in storylines in general, I suppose, but I’m so very tired of being subjected to the rape or attempted rape of female characters. Note for your playbook, guys: That’s not entertaining. Plus, in this story, not only is Silk Spectre nearly raped by the Comedian (and bloodied up but good in the attempt), she returns to him later for consensual sex, which leads to the birth of the future Silk Spectre. Really? Because nothing woos a woman like having her face pummeled before it’s shoved against a pool table. Foreplay for superheroes? Or a horrible message about women really liking it rough and no “meaning Y-E-S”?
Snyder is guilty of subjecting another of his female characters to similar treatment. Lena Headey’s Queen Gorgo is raped in the movie version of 300, even though she is not in Frank Miller’s graphic novel. I think women were supposed to feel empowered when Gorgo murders her rapist and whispers as he dies a paraphrase of what he said to her as he raped her:
Drone On
It’s rough coming back to the office after a week off. My Borg implants have been offline so long that they didn’t really want to reconnect to the work Collective this morning. But the nearly 200 e-mails sitting in my work inbox forced my hand in that regard. Stupid inbox. Thankfully, many of the e-mails were stray spam messages about hot Russian love slaves and discounts on herbal supplements to increase my virility and girth…you know, for the Russian love slaves I’m being sent. It’s all those non-spam messages that are now causing me to suffer from a “case of the Mondays.”
I suppose I could have lessened the stress by checking my work e-mail when I got home on Saturday…but I just couldn’t do it. No. I wouldn’t do it. I know that some with whom I went to the beach did this. And some actually checked their work e-mail while at the beach (ahem…you know who you are). Here’s the thing, though. I’m paid to do my job at the office. I do this very thing 8 hours a day, 5 days a week. When I’m on vacation, I’m using my hard-earned leave to enjoy time away from work. Why, then, would I check my work e-mail while I am on vacation?
We’re just work-stupid in this country. Do you know that other countries make fun of our paltry vacation policies? They make fun of us for other things as well, but that’s par for the course anymore, right? They also make fun of us for our “working vacation” mentalities. That’s well-deserved mockery, if you ask me. What do any of us do for a living that would require this kind of on-call 24/7 mentality (beyond doctors, that is; doctors and maybe magicians)? True, I’d like to think that I’m an integral gear in the machinery of my office, but every gear’s got to take a breather now and again before all their cogs snap off and they’re just spinning uselessly.
I still feel a bit like I’m spinning uselessly, but that’s okay. It takes at least one full business day to slip back into the swing of things, right? It’ll all work out. And hopefully I’ll be able to eke out a bit more time to work on all those book challenge posts I accumulated last week. They’re coming, denizens. I swear. Trust LobaBlancus of Borg. We will come through for you.
Is That Really What I Think It Is?
You might as well settle in for more geekery. I’m in that kind of mood right now.
So I’m finally watching my Voyager discs that I showed off here a while ago. Actually, I’ve skipped the first three seasons and gone straight for the Borg jugular. Season 4 was around about the time that I stopped watching the show the first time around. I’m slowly learning that this decision was definitely my loss. As off-putting as I originally found the character of Seven of Nine to be, I’m discovering that Jeri Ryan indeed brought more to the show than a catsuit with heels and a padded bra. I’ve seen quite a few of her episodes throughout the remainder of the series, thanks to SpikeTV, but now I’m filling in all the remaining gaps. So far, so good.
However, as I was watching an episode yesterday, I couldn’t help but notice something very familiar being used in a very…different way. I know that in the past, set designers have used various everyday objects as futuristic devices. Several of Dr. McCoy’s instruments were in fact re-dressed salt and pepper shakers from Roddenberry’s personal collection. And the TNG first season episode “Arsenal of Freedom”? Those targeting weapons that attack the away team are nothing more than plastic tubing and shampoo bottles.
Nothing wrong with either instance. It’s just set designers and props people getting their creative juices flowing a bit. But then there’s the vegetable peeler that Tom Paris used to repair Seven of Nine’s damaged hand in the episode “Revulsion.” Don’t believe me? Take a look:
Now tell me that doesn’t look like a stainless steel vegetable peeler with a pinkish glow added in post-production! Need another look?
That, my friends, is a potato peeler if I ever saw one. A futuristic-looking peeler, true…but come on, guys. Dress it up a little bit more! At least make me work to figure out what kitchen utensil is being used in sickbay!
