Photo Fun Friday: Easy Riker

I cannot take full credit for this idea. The original concept was brought to my attention by my most devilish ImagiFriendTM via a doctored image he found that was funny in concept but so visually awful it burned me to my PhotoShop-loving core. I said that I wanted to fix the poster.

So I did.

I decided to use beardless Riker, because I kind of think Q was right: He was more fun before the beard. He had a boyish charm and impulsiveness that I feel better matches the Easy Rider spirit (plus, this was just a great screen capture of early Commander Riker that I couldn’t resist using it).

I also added a new riding companion for “Easy Riker.” I thought about adding Deanna, just for the LOL factor, but I decided that the idea of Worf on a motorcycle amused me even more.

“I must protest! I am NOT a toking hippie!”


Photo Fun Friday: Steven Tyler Moore

Oh, you’re going to hate me for this one. But it had to be done. Another one of those seeds planted in my brain that just wouldn’t stop growing. It all started a few weeks ago when one of my aunts declared that for a moment she thought that Mary Tyler Moore was the new judge on American Idol. At first, I was a bit indignant. No one shall speak blasphemy against the lead singer of one of my all-time favorite bands! Especially the relative at whose house I first discovered the joys of Aerosmith in video form!

Then I let the reality of the statement wash over me. That reality, of course, being what I’ve been saying for quite some time now: The more tweaking that celebrities get done to their faces, the more they all start looking the same.

And thus, dude indeed now does look like a lady:

You know what’s really going to irritate you? When you realize that you can’t tell exactly which parts are Steven and which parts are Mary. I’d help you out, but where’s the fun in that?

Photo Fun Friday: Tawny Kattan

This came about as the result of a pronunciation error and I knew it simply had to be made:

Welcome to tonight’s nightmare.

Don’t know who I combined to make “Tawny Kattan”? Well, here is Tawny at probably her most famous (rather than her more recent infamy):

And Chris Kattan…well. Er. There’s Corky…no. Well, there’s A Night at…never mind. Hmm. Monkeybo…no. How about this Bowling for Soup video for their song “1985” that parodies the Whitesnake video? Yeah? Okay.

An Officer and the Extra-Terrestrial

Thirty years ago today, Steven Spielberg unleashed his schmaltz upon us in extra-terrestrial form, complete with marketable candy-coated goodness.

I hate to break this to you, denizens, but I’ve never liked this movie. It’s riddled with forced sentimentality as only Spielberg can inflict upon audiences. But I couldn’t resist this idea when it popped into my head. My only hope is that someone out there gets my weird sense of humor (it actually does make sense if you know a little movie trivia!), and that they laugh even a fraction as much as I’m still laughing.

Photo Fun Friday: Twister

Someone really should take away my PhotoShop access when I’m in moods like this…

So, today saw the release of a movie based on the board game Battleship. You know, as in “You sank my battleship!” The game was all about strategy and intellect and cunning. The movie is apparently all about aliens and splosions.

Viva la…whatever. I never really was a Battleship fan. Connect Four was more my kind of game. But today’s movie release got me thinking: What will the next board game-based piffle will they think up next? Someone already beat me to the movie/board game crossover that I was initially going to do. Really, though, this one is simply perfect, and perfectly hilarious.

So I went with another of those perennial sleepover favorites, Twister! I actually used to love to play Twister. That sexy PVC smell will still take me right back, either to opening up the Twister box or the black vampire cape from my favorite Halloween costume. I’m by no means bendy like a pretzel, but I could keep up with the demands of that little cardboard and plastic spinner, regardless of the bizarre combinations it would come up with.

But what would a movie based on the game be like? Honestly, I’ve no clue, denizens. Then again, I couldn’t really imagine what a movie based on Battleship would be about either. Those Hollywood folk are just way sharper than I’ll ever be.

I could, however, envision what the poster would look like. It would have to be a horror movie, of course. With a name like Twister, it would only be a horror movie or a stupid action movie based on a meteorological event, complete with CGI cows being blown around. Who’d want to watch that?


Anyway, it was…interesting try to come up with the components for this latest PhotoShop trickery. First thing I learned? Do not type in “dead body” into Google Image Search. Just don’t. Best bet for a dead body-type image? Look for people who have passed out. Preferably from alcohol consumption. Second thing? It’s really hard to find a photo of a Twister mat without people standing on it! Stupid narcissists!

If any of you is particularly inspired by this image and has a brilliant idea for a story line, by all means, go for it! If it’s clever enough, I’ll let you use my poster idea. If it’s not clever, please don’t blame me. I just come up with the warped imagery…I can’t be held accountable for what you all do with it once it’s out there…

Reflections on a Golden Gate

As touristy and predictable as it is, whenever I go to San Francisco, I always end up taking an excessive number of photos of the Golden Gate Bridge. I simply can’t help myself. It’s stunning, no matter what time of day or what type of weather surrounds it. I’ve seen it damasked by fog, gilded by moon glow, and shimmering in the brilliant sunlight, and I’ve yet to tire of its beauty.

This past trip, I decided that I needed to mix it up a little bit…get a different perspective. I also wanted to visit yet another filming location from Vertigo, one of my favorite Hitchcock films. I ended up at Fort Point, right beneath the bridge and just as the sun was reaching a prime position in the sky for some gorgeous Golden Gate glow.

I would have liked to have gotten even further under the bridge or closer to the water’s edge for some of these shots. Unfortunately, the fort was closed and surrounded by a pesky security fence. Oh well. Perhaps next time.

Here, then, are my favorite shots, including one of a drippy-billed seagull who seemed quite amused by my impromptu photo shoot…

And, finally, here’s my favorite shot, which I took specifically as an homage to Vertigo. It came out so exactly as I had hoped it would that I couldn’t resist taking it into PhotoShop and turning it into my own “poster” for this movie:

Photo Fun Friday: Prophets’ Pogue

A little known fact about the Star Trek: Deep Space Nine two-part episode “Past Tense” is how much it was altered between first draft and final product. While the storyline about Commander Sisko and Dr. Bashir becoming involved in the “Bell Riots” was always there, what wasn’t was the subplot about Jadzia ending up in the past with them and her quasi-romantic interaction with Christopher Brynner. In fact, there was a completely different subplot that involved Major Kira and Chief O’Brien getting lost even further back in the past during their trip through the timelines in search of Sisko and Bashir.

Jadzia (who stayed on the Defiant when Sisko and Bashir attempted their ill-fated beamdown to their present-day San Francisco) ended up losing Kira and O’Brien as they materialized in 1960s Haight-Ashbury San Francisco. The episode then alternated between Jadzia and Odo working to rescue all four lost officers, Sisko and Bashir in the Bell Riot timeline, and Kira and O’Brien in their own hippy love-in timeline. This subplot was meant to provide the humorous juxtaposition to Sisko and Bashir’s story and showed Kira and O’Brien forming a band as a means of making enough money to get a place to live and food to eat while they tried to figure out how to contact Dax and Odo. Their band, Prophets’ Pogue, was a BajoraCeltic folk fusion that almost instantly caught on because of the familiarity of the Celtic sound mixed with the exotic alien stylings brought in by Kira’s Bajoran roots. Soon, they found themselves with a recording contract, mingling with the likes of Janis Joplin, Jefferson Airplane, the Grateful Dead, the Doors…all wanting to know more about that groovy, trippy sound and the weird lead singer who always wore a band-aid over her nose.

There were even hints at a developing romance between Kira and O’Brien when they began to lose hope that they would ever get back to their time and their respective partners. Though lost to this two-part episode, this concept would later appear during the Season 5 storyline in which Major Kira plays surrogate for the O’Briens after Keiko is injured and Dr. Bashir is forced to perform an emergency transfer of the fetus into Major Kira in order to save it.

Unfortunately, the cost of the royalties and the CGI to add the likenesses of all these famous 60s rock musicians became too prohibitive to completing the subplot as originally envisioned (it wouldn’t be until the fifth season episode “Trial and Tribble-ations” that they would finally get the opportunity to mix the DS9 cast with CGI characters from the past, only this time it would be Captain Kirk and his crew). Also, the writers realized that they needed a subplot that worked more in tandem with the primary storyline rather than detracting from it the way they ultimately felt this subplot did. The script was reworked, that subplot was traded in for the Jadzia subplot, but in deference to the idea, the writers left in Kira and O’Brien’s brief moment in the “peace and love” era.

One of the recently discovered props that was prepared for the original script was this cover for the Prophets’ Pogue debut album, póg mo hiomairí…which, roughly translated is Gaelic for “Kiss My Ridges.”* It was to be O’Brien’s and Kira’s own private joke regarding the Bajoran’s constantly hidden alien feature.

*I don’t speak Gaelic, so for all I know this means something utterly offensive. If it is, I’m sorry. Blame Google Translate.