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I just checked my tracking info and saw a highly disturbing keyword search, spawned by one of my recent Flashback Friday entries: “Poltergeist remake.”
NO!!!!!!!!!!!
Dammit, no. This is my perfection. This is the movie that placed me on my horror movie journey. This is my first. Now Hollywood is going to muck it up, like they did Jason Voorhees, Michael Myers, and now Freddy Krueger. The Poltergeist remake hasn’t been cast yet, but MGM has announced that they’re hoping for a Thanksgiving 2010 release date.
Who do I have to contact in Hollywood to make them stop this? Some things shouldn’t be tampered with. This movie is one of them. What next from my childhood? Jaws? Gremlins? Adventures in Babysitting? “Don’t fuck with the babysitter” is more than just a line from the movie, guys.
All I have to say is this: If I hear even the tiniest rumbling of a rumor about Blade Runner being remade, something horrifying will happen. I’m not saying what, but it will involve cutlery and Tabasco sauce.
Your vacation as it has been is over. From this time forward, you will work with us.
It’s rough coming back to the office after a week off. My Borg implants have been offline so long that they didn’t really want to reconnect to the work Collective this morning. But the nearly 200 e-mails sitting in my work inbox forced my hand in that regard. Stupid inbox. Thankfully, many of the e-mails were stray spam messages about hot Russian love slaves and discounts on herbal supplements to increase my virility and girth…you know, for the Russian love slaves I’m being sent. It’s all those non-spam messages that are now causing me to suffer from a “case of the Mondays.”
I suppose I could have lessened the stress by checking my work e-mail when I got home on Saturday…but I just couldn’t do it. No. I wouldn’t do it. I know that some with whom I went to the beach did this. And some actually checked their work e-mail while at the beach (ahem…you know who you are). Here’s the thing, though. I’m paid to do my job at the office. I do this very thing 8 hours a day, 5 days a week. When I’m on vacation, I’m using my hard-earned leave to enjoy time away from work. Why, then, would I check my work e-mail while I am on vacation?
We’re just work-stupid in this country. Do you know that other countries make fun of our paltry vacation policies? They make fun of us for other things as well, but that’s par for the course anymore, right? They also make fun of us for our “working vacation” mentalities. That’s well-deserved mockery, if you ask me. What do any of us do for a living that would require this kind of on-call 24/7 mentality (beyond doctors, that is; doctors and maybe magicians)? True, I’d like to think that I’m an integral gear in the machinery of my office, but every gear’s got to take a breather now and again before all their cogs snap off and they’re just spinning uselessly.
I still feel a bit like I’m spinning uselessly, but that’s okay. It takes at least one full business day to slip back into the swing of things, right? It’ll all work out. And hopefully I’ll be able to eke out a bit more time to work on all those book challenge posts I accumulated last week. They’re coming, denizens. I swear. Trust LobaBlancus of Borg. We will come through for you.
I know that I have only read two of her books (and technically, they were two parts of the same story, so it was really just one BIG book), but I’m going to have to say that I think S.D. Perry might have actually given Peter David a run for his money as being the author I would trust the most with my precious Star Trek characters. She’s definitely now among my top Trek authors, to be sure, after pulling off an amazing debut for the “eighth season” of Deep Space Nine with the conclusion of Avatar, Book Two of Two.
I was highly impressed by both of these books, and not simply because of the various storylines taking place and intersecting and combining oh so beautifully. It was also how Perry handled each of these characters, both established and new, with a care and precision that in many ways surpassed the attention lavished upon them by the show’s writers. Most impressive was her handling of the character Ezri Dax. I had a huge problem with the fact that Ezri Dax was stationed to DS9 after Jadzia Dax was killed. It just felt wrong. But since it was going to happen regardless of what I thought, I decided that what I’d like most is to see a deeper exploration of the whole concept of being a Trill, especially for a host who never really planned on being a host.
Needless to say, the show never really met my expectations in this regard. They only had one season to work with Ezri, so I guess they did as best as they could. Still, I wanted more. And Perry delivered in this book. She deftly explores the inner intricacies of what it’s like to carry around so many memories and lives in ways that provided amazing insight into both the Dax symbiont and the latest host to carry it within her.
This alone made these two books enjoyable. Add onto this the fact that Perry also actually pulls off the reintroduction of Ro Laren to the Trek universe in a wonderful way (minus my complaint regarding the somewhat of a stretch in storyline from the first book). Indeed, there was a bit of an “encounter” between the TNG crew and DS9’s new chief of security, but only in regard to two brief interactions between Picard and Ro, which were contained and well-played. It is Jean-Luc Picard, after all. Plus, Perry gives us glimpses of the TNG crew interacting with DS9 crew in ways that I had always wanted to see during crossover episodes of the shows. There’s even a great scene in which Dr. Crusher is called upon to temporarily take over as DS9’s CMO. It’s a short snippet in the book, but it’s wonderfully executed and a delight to read.
I think that’s a perfect summary for both of these books: They were a delight to read. I haven’t been this happy with a Trek book in a very long time. Avatar kicks off the continuation of the DS9 saga in high style. Perry shows Colonel Kira to be a competent and pragmatic commander of the station. She also takes Kira down a path that leads to quite a change for the normally spiritual Nerys. The end result is one that I have to admit left me with a profound sadness for Kira. Another sign of an excellent writer. I can only hope that the path that Colonel Kira now finds herself on is one that she is prepared to walk, but I can say this: I’m prepared to follow her, Lieutenant Ro, Dr. Bashir, Commander Dax, and all the others wherever their journeys take them next. I only hope that the next author responsible for continuing this story arc can live up to the high standards that S.D. Perry has now set.
Final score: 5/5. The law of averages has demanded that I give this entire two-parter a solid 5. Highly enjoyable, and totally believable continuation of the DS9 saga. I can’t wait to read the next book!
So I may have forgotten to mention that I was taking a vacation. I think I may have mentioned it to a few of my ImagiFriendsTM, but other than that, it completely slipped my mind to hang a “Be Back Soon” sign on the lair’s door. Sorry about that. But I was in desperate need of a reboot. Actually, to be more precise, I was in need of a complete system shutdown and a cold boot several days later. I was tired, denizens. No. I was weary. It’s been a hectic, frenetic end of the summer, and while my birthday journey to Toronto was teh awesome, it also served to tempt me with the taste of nuts and honey in regard to a proper, long vacation.
So Sammy was packed to capacity and away we went for a week at the beach. I learned several very important lessons while on this magical mystery tour of an undisclosed beach destination, and I would now like to share these lessons with you!
Not even weather like this almost every day can ruin a beach vacation.
Why? Because of my own personal mantra: A bad day at the beach is better than a good day at the office.
Also, when you come properly equipped, weather is incidental:
This box of books combined with oodles of free time also allowed me to get back on track in regard to my 50BC09 journey. How so? I read nearly six books while at the beach. I’ll be posting reviews over the next few days. True, none of them were Proust or Balzac, but they were all enjoyable and more than appropriate reading fodder for the location.
As long as you keep moving, the calories consumed at the beach don’t count. That’s why it’s possible to have frozen custard for lunch…just keep walking along the boardwalk and you’ll be fine (I say this now, but you know come Monday afternoon, it’s back to my workout routine with Captain Janeway and her crew).
There are 3,873 T-shirt and tchotchke shops at the beach. It won’t be until you go into the 3,872nd shop that you will finally find that perfect hoodie in just the right shade of blue that you’d almost given up trying to find (the last shop just smells of dead hermit crabs and incense sticks, so everyone avoids this shop).
Rum tastes better at the beach. I guess this is why pirates prefer it. Actually, everything tastes better at the beach. Must be the sea salt.
BlackBerry screens are too effing small. But maybe that’s the point. After futzing around for about 10 minutes, scrolling back and forth to read things on that impossibly small screen, I would just give up and go back to my reading…or napping…or eating. Those were the important tasks anyway. Life’s too short and the beach is too tempting to be sat, squinting at a BlackBerry. Although…
…I was inspired to come up with a new device that I think would be awesome: It’s a combination of a Kindle and a BlackBerry. Think about it for a moment. You’d have a portable device with a screen the size of the current Kindle, with Internet capability. The current Kindle is almost there anyway. It’s got 3G wireless so that you can download books. Just bump its capabilities to be more surf-worthy. That way you can switch from your current beach read over to your e-mail and back, lickety-split, and not kill your eyes or your scrolly finger. Tell me that doesn’t sound groovy? It’d be the realization of the Personal Access Display Device that I have always wanted to have!
When I am released on Funland, I tap into the memory of all the warrior princesses to have come before me and I discover that, indeed, I have many skills. And most of them involve tapping into my anger management issues through a padded mallet wielded at unsuspecting fiberglass moles:
Behold my spoils:
Okay, I think 10 lessons is more than enough, right? Anyway, I hope that’s enough to make up for the fact that I did sort of disappear on you without much warning. I promise I won’t do that again any time soon. Okay? Now let me start working on these book reviews. I’ll probably get at least one finished today. I hope. I might need a nap after that though. Because going to the beach is so very strenuous… 😉
Warning: Taking this medication in combination with pizza and unexpected scares may cause projectile vomiting.
Yes, this is about sleepovers…and yes, that is a bottle of Dimetapp. Don’t worry, denizens. I promise it will all come together soon enough.
Weren’t sleepovers awesome? Especially when they were at other people’s houses? Especially when they were supervised by parents who were way more lenient than your own parents?
[Tangentially, didn’t sleepovers absolutely suck when they were with friends who had
FINALLY! Oh thank the Prophets, I have found a Star Trek book worth reading! I’ve temporarily abandoned hope regarding finding a decent TNG novel from the post-Nemesis flotsam, and I’ve now switched over to the “eighth season” DS9 books. First on the agenda is Avatar, Book One of Two, by S.D. Perry.
This was a brilliant way to continue the DS9 story. I take special joy in this idea since I was so disappointed in how the writers ended DS9 by scattering all those characters across the Alpha and Gamma Quadrants so unceremoniously. I get the fact that life often behaves in such a fashion, pulling apart friends and lovers in similar ways, but the fact that they did it to so many characters all at once…it was just too painful an ending for a show that I daresay often gave TNG a run for being my favorite series.
Plus, the added bonus to this book (and I’m assuming the second part, which I have already started reading) is that it brings in the TNG cast as well. So far, there’s a parallel story taking place on the Enterprise-E that is going to end up bringing the crew to DS9. I suspect the doo will hit the fan in some way then, since the new security chief on DS9 is none other than Ro Laren.
Okay, here’s where my biggest complaint about this book comes into play: Ro Laren? Really? I get that Ro was originally supposed to be the liaison between the Bajorans and the Federation on DS9, but Michelle Forbes kaboshed that idea because she didn’t want to be shackled to a television show. So what better way to finally put Ro where she belongs than in the books! But…she was Maquis. According to Voyager, the Dominion killed all the remaining Maquis in the Alpha Quadrant. But Ro Laren survived…to become DS9’s security chief.
Yeah. Perry does an admirable job of trying to make this make sense, but it’s about as much of a stretch as the elastic in Rush Limbaugh’s Fruit of the Looms after Thanksgiving dinner. Still, it’s so great to have Ro Laren back in the fold…even though Peter David, Michael Jan Friedman, and Robert Greenberger already brought Ro and Kira together once before, in their DS9 novel collaboration, The Wrath of the Prophets. Of course, we all know that the novels are not considered canon at all…if they were, Peter David’s Vendetta would have been a prime argument against Seven of Nine ever being more post-Borg than full-blown catatonic.
Oh noes, I’ve gone hardcore geek now, eh? Needless to say, even with as “coincidental” as Ro Laren’s resurfacing is, Perry does an admirable job of making it as believable as possible. Plus, Perry juggles several major plot lines beautifully, including a murder on the space station that becomes Ro’s first major way to prove herself to Kira, the surfacing of an ancient Bajoran text that speaks of frightful events to transpire, the discovery of the Orb of Memory, the plight of Jake Sisko, plus a boatload of new characters to help round out the story and push it along. She does a beautiful job of keeping everything racing along at a wonderfully engaging pace, and I can’t wait to keep plowing through the second half of the story.
Final score: 4.5/5. I’m deducting half a point because the Ro Laren stretch is still something that I found difficult to completely believe…but not quite as bad as who is currently wooing the good lieutenant. I won’t say who, but I’m sure there’s a Rule of Acquisition somewhere that might be able to explain it to you a bit better than I could.
Here’s hoping that the second half is even half as good as the first!
You might as well settle in for more geekery. I’m in that kind of mood right now.
So I’m finally watching my Voyager discs that I showed off here a while ago. Actually, I’ve skipped the first three seasons and gone straight for the Borg jugular. Season 4 was around about the time that I stopped watching the show the first time around. I’m slowly learning that this decision was definitely my loss. As off-putting as I originally found the character of Seven of Nine to be, I’m discovering that Jeri Ryan indeed brought more to the show than a catsuit with heels and a padded bra. I’ve seen quite a few of her episodes throughout the remainder of the series, thanks to SpikeTV, but now I’m filling in all the remaining gaps. So far, so good.
However, as I was watching an episode yesterday, I couldn’t help but notice something very familiar being used in a very…different way. I know that in the past, set designers have used various everyday objects as futuristic devices. Several of Dr. McCoy’s instruments were in fact re-dressed salt and pepper shakers from Roddenberry’s personal collection. And the TNG first season episode “Arsenal of Freedom”? Those targeting weapons that attack the away team are nothing more than plastic tubing and shampoo bottles.
Nothing wrong with either instance. It’s just set designers and props people getting their creative juices flowing a bit. But then there’s the vegetable peeler that Tom Paris used to repair Seven of Nine’s damaged hand in the episode “Revulsion.” Don’t believe me? Take a look:
Seven, we're going to have to peel away this damage...
Now tell me that doesn’t look like a stainless steel vegetable peeler with a pinkish glow added in post-production! Need another look?
This is how we cure tuber-culosis. Get it? Tuber...potato...cuz this is a peeler. No? Damn humorless Borg...
That, my friends, is a potato peeler if I ever saw one. A futuristic-looking peeler, true…but come on, guys. Dress it up a little bit more! At least make me work to figure out what kitchen utensil is being used in sickbay!
Happy September, denizens! I do apologize for my rather spotty visitations throughout the glorious month of August. Last month of summer and all, you understand. Plus, I’ve mentioned work woes enough throughout the month that I’m sure you all get the drift.
And then, in the final throes of Monthus Augustus, I abandoned the States yet again. This time, it was to the country right above us. Yes, it was time to visit those delightfully bilingual friendlier-than-us/cleaner-than-us/saner-than-us neighbors, the Canadians, eh? (I know, that was a stereotypical “eh,” but what are you going to do aboot it? Okay, I’m sorry; I’ll stop now).
Plus, it was time to meet some “imaginary friends” I’ve made here on teh Interwebz. Yeah, I’m one of those nerds who makes friends online. I’m also one who talks about my online friends like they’re “real.” Sometimes, I talk about Dr. Crusher in the same way…you know, saying things like, “Yeah, I hate when doctors cancel appointments at the last minute. Once, my doctor failed to even show up for an appointment, but later she explained that she was trapped in a warp bubble.”
…
Uh, so yeah, these friends in Canada are actually real and, even better, they weren’t trapped in any warp bubbles this weekend! So we flew up Saturday morning and by that evening, we were consuming delectable foodstuffs and libations and enjoying a relaxing summer evening get-together as though it was perfectly normal that we’ve all known each other for about a year…but this was the first time we’ve physically been in the same room. And I can honestly say that it was the most fun I’ve had in a very long time. There’s something magical about sharing in-jokes with imaginary friends that I don’t think most people will ever experience or understand…but I wouldn’t trade Saturday evening for all the latinum in Quark’s bank account.
Ain’t the Internet grand?
Everything else about the weekend was, of course, icing on the big geek cake of happy that was Saturday evening. We got up early Sunday and headed over to the Royal Ontario Museum, or the ROM for short (and yes, I do point out the acronym because of its DS9 geekiness). Additionally, the building itself looks like an alien crash site and earns even more geek points for being the primary setting for one of the better discoveries I’ve made during my 50BC09 adventure.
Captain, our shuttle's last communication indicated that it was going down somewhere over Toronto...
The museum took up most of the morning, but once we were finished, we had no real itinerary other than wanting to see the city. I’m a big believer that the best way to really experience a city is to walk it. That would be the most logical reason behind walking from Buckingham Palace to Tower Bridge the last time I was in London (the less logical reason is that I just really, really wanted to do it). So we walked from the ROM on Bloor Street to Queen Street, which is apparently where the hip, young people like to hang out.
I don’t know so much about the “hip” but there sure was a ton of young people. A screaming, squealing clusterfuck, in fact, of pre-pubescent girls gaggled around the Much Music building, making more high-pitched noises than should be humanly possible either to make or to hear. I rather snarkily asked, “What, are the Jonas Brothers in town?”
And the answer to that question was yes. Leave it to me, she who is utterly clueless as to who or what the Jonas Brothers are…yes, leave it to me to find them in Toronto. Suddenly, the entire block was a-rumble with some of the shittest bland-pop music I’ve heard in a very long time, and not just because it was being nearly overwhelmed by the roar of girly screeching that surrounded the building. Needless to say, we couldn’t get away from there fast enough.
Hey, Doc, where the frack are we?
Otherwise, Queen Street was fun with a funky Camden Town vibe mixed with Georgetown urban chic. What made it over-the-top for me, however, was the discovery of a comic book/action figure store. I’ve encountered many a comic shop here in the States in which the odd action figure is sold. Never, however, have I encountered an actual action figure store. Row after row of tasty poseable goodness. I found a Viper pilot more super-charged than the coffee of the same name along with a wickedly fun Mirror Universe doctor. They’re still MOC at the moment. Starbuck’s not going to be long for her protective casing though. I’m still contemplating what to do with Mirror McCoy.
Afterward, we ambled back up toward Bloor, stopping off at the Art Gallery of Ontario, or the AGO. Methinks this was my favorite of the two museums we hit. I guess I’m much more into art than old bones not of the McCoy variety. The highlight of this stop had to be the surprise discovery of a piece done by Odilon Redon, one of my favorite French Symbolists. I’ve never seen one of his pieces in person, so the thrill was exquisite, even if it was one of his later oil paintings rather than one of the charcoals I adore from his oeuvre.
Finally, it was dinner time. I can honestly say I have never had an Italian meal quite as delicious or as filling as the one at Spuntini’s. Plus, as we discovered on the restaurant’s wall of stars, it ranks high enough to be on the radar of three Scream stars, Courteney Cox, David Arquette, and the ever-Canadian Neve Campbell. Now that’s Gen-X appeal!
Food coma soon ensued and the next thing it was Monday morning and almost time to leave. But not before discovering two awesome used book stores and stocking up on literary geekanalia. A little triskaidekaphobia trivia, a photo book of Ontario, and a new Richard Matheson collection to add to the shelves, and before we knew it, it was time to head to the airport. No poutine before we left, which I know some consider a crime…but we did finally partake of some Tim Horton’s. It’s a sin to have maple doughnuts that good.
All in all, a wonderful trip. Honestly, the major reason I wanted to go in the first place was to finally “meet” my imaginary friends and make them all the more real. I’m so glad I did, because I don’t think there could be any cooler people in Canada than them (and maybe Terri Clark, but I think I’m biased a bit on this one). Plus, Toronto proved to be a groovy weekend destination, with lots of different things to discover during aimless meanderings…and they’ve got blue water on their shoreline! I swear, I don’t know what we’ve done to our portion of the Atlantic that’s made it look like raw sewage from the air, but I was beyond delighted to see the vibrant blue of Lake Ontario from the sky.
So there you go. That’s what I did on the final weekend of August. Oh, and I aged a year…but that’s incidental 😉
Ha ha! I’m mixing it up a little bit on you this wonderful Friday morning (or afternoon, depending on when I’m finally able to finish writing this). Today is a special Flashback, because it’s all about a movie from my childhood that holds an extra EXTRA special place in my heart as well as having a wonderful teaser poster affiliated with it.
I give you 1982’s horror movie classic, Poltergeist. This is the first modern horror movie that I can remember watching. I say “modern,” because before seeing this movie, I remember watching 1950s/60s-era horror and thriller movies
That last book riled me up so much that it took me a bit longer before I was ready to wade back into the literary waters. Well, that and the fact that this whole month has left me feeling like I’ve gone 10 rounds of Velocity with a former Borg drone (come on, you know you’ve got to keep up with my geek references…or at the very least, tolerate them).
I know that I’ve mentioned Paul Auster before and how I discovered him by way of one of his books having a dog on its cover. Thank goodness I’m a softie like that. I believe Paul Auster is a brilliant writer, one of the best in the modern literary game today. Every time I read one of his novels, I’m transported to places and ideas and imaginings of the most wonderful varieties.
Man In the Dark is no exception to this rule. In fact, I daresay that this particular novel might be one of my favorite Auster offerings so far, as it resonates with me on a particularly intimate level. The main character, August Brill, weaves a tale for us through reality and imagination, seeking truth and comfort in the small hours of night, as he lies awake in the darkness of his room…lost in the stories he constructs within his mind (sounds familiar, no?).
A large portion of this book, in fact, takes place in these stories that Brill creates to keep himself entertained and distracted as he awaits sleep’s arrival. I love how deftly Auster is able to craft this scenario, shifting us from Brill’s imagination to his reality with effortless certitude. That’s what it means to be a master of your craft.
If you have never read Paul Auster before, I urge you to give him a try. His works are surreal, but not complicatedly so. This is an excellent place to start. So is Timbuktu…you know, the book with the dog on the cover.
Final score: 5/5. More than likely I’m biased, but there wasn’t one part of this book that failed to hold me rapt and ready for more. I may even have to add this one to my personal collection.
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