Author: lobablanca

Flashback Friday (Holiday Edition): The Haunting

~ lobablanca

An evil old house, the kind some people call haunted, is like an undiscovered country waiting to be explored. Hill House had stood for 90 years and might stand for 90 more. Silence lay steadily against the wood and stone of Hill House, and whatever walked there… walked alone.

haunting

The past few weeks have been rather hectic in terms of time, so I haven’t had a chance to do a Flashback Friday in a while. And, really, this is just a brief entry in honor of the passing of Julie Harris on August 24. While Ms. Harris was a multi-award-winning actress who found fame in movies, television, and theater, she shall forever be to me Eleanor “Nell” Lance from The Haunting, Robert Wise’s 1963 adaptation of Shirley Jackson’s brilliantly unsettling book The Haunting of Hill House.

I once made a list here at the lair of 10 of my all-time favorite horror movies, and The Haunting was securely in this mix. If I had to narrow this list down to only five? The Haunting would remain. It is a wonderfully atmospheric film based upon one of my favorite novels from one of my favorite authors. Also, with unflinchingly eerie cinematography, Wise proved he was definitely a director who knew his trade well; what he did with cameras and angles and deep focus in this film are all part of what still make it an amazing addition to the horror genre.

Plus, the cast was positively stellar. In addition to Harris, equally renowned stage actress Claire Bloom portrayed the “unnatural” clairvoyant Theodora, one of my favorite genre characters (although Theodora is far more nuanced and practical [and far less hysterical] in Jackson’s novel); Richard Johnson played Dr. John Markway; when he wasn’t being a Jet all the way, Russ Tamblyn played Luke Sanderson; and while on leave as the internationally known Moneypenny from early James Bond fame, Lois Maxwell made an appearance as Dr. Markway’s wife, Grace. Plus, there are a couple of supporting actors who deliver some awesome moments, including Rosalie Crutchley as the intensely morbid Mrs. Dudley (No one will hear you in the night. In the dark. Isn’t that right, Mrs. Dudley?).

haunting-mrsdudley

I talk about this movie all the time because it truly is one of my favorites. There’s no way to simply explain how wonderful it is. Every moment is a new discovery. Every scene is art. Every knock, creak, moan, roar, smash, clang, crash, and scream are a horror fan’s delight. I have watched this film myriad times. I will watch it myriad more. It is fantastic and frightening and deserves the respect that it continues to receive. Also? That house. That house that they found for this movie blows my mind.

hillhouse

It is now the Ettington Park Hotel in Stratford-upon-Avon. I’m not going to lie…it’s my goal one day to stay here, or at the very least to visit it. I feel this is a sabbatical I need to take.

Until then, I shall happily pull my DVD out and take a trip to Hill House again and again and again…

hauntingcast-small

Flashback Friday: The Craft

~ lobablanca

“Now is the time. This is the hour. Ours is the magic. Ours is the power.”

Running with a bit of a theme for a theme today, denizens. I realized last week that I’ve been spending a lot of time trying to remember all the strange and wonderful things from my childhood…but I’m forgetting all the strange and wonderful things from my older years. You know, that magnificent wasteland of adolescence. That wonderfully traumatizing time of your life in which you are discovering who you are and what that means, not just to you but to how you fit into the world around you and how you click with the people in your life.

Sometimes, it means realizing that you’re not really going to fit in and the people around you are more than likely going to find that you’re a bit…un-click-able. (Or is that un-clique-able?) Years after the fact, you’re going to look back and realize that all that was okay. Not being like everyone else around you can serve to strengthen you in many ways. Also? Not being like everyone else around you means that you’ll never have to conform to something you’re not, just to be accepted. What? Did you really think that all those high school cliques comprised people who all happened to be exactly the same? Nah…it takes a lot of work and lying to fit in, denizens. Much easier to just be yourself.

Of course, I can say that now, nearly 20 years after graduating high school. Back then, though, I struggled with a lot of stuff, including what was necessary for me to fit in. And then I chose black nail polish, black leather trench coats and knee-high boots, and massive metal hair. I guess I lived by that Alice in Wonderland line: “I often give myself very good advice, but very seldom follow it.”

So what does all this have to do with today’s Flashback Friday entry? Quite a bit, actually.

thecraft

Remember The Craft? No? Allow me to refresh your memory. Young Sarah (Robin Tunney) finds herself in a new home and a new town and a new school, all things done by her father to try to make things better for his daughter, who has been having a bit of a rough time ever since her mother passed away. All the internal turmoil tends to set Sarah apart from others, so of course, she’s not really fitting in all that well at the Catholic school she’s now stuck attending. That is until she’s accepted by three other misfits

BookBin2013: Locke & Key 2

~ lobablanca

I can’t believe that it’s been more than a year since Joe Hill welcomed me to Lovecraft. More than a year since I first encountered the Locke family as they began their long emotional journey back from the brutal home invasion in their San Francisco home that left their father murdered and their mother broken in many ways.

It’s been too long. It’s time to catch up on old times, denizens.

lak2-4

That’s right, I recently succumbed to my need to enter a library and binge on whatever I could find of interest…and part of what I found were the next three graphic novels from Joe Hill and Gabriel Rodriguez’s Locke & Key series: Volume 2: Head Games; Volume 3: Crown of Shadows; and Volume 4: Keys to the Kingdom.

More revelations about the truth behind Rendell Locke’s murder as well as his life in Lovecraft. More keys. More secrets. More discoveries. More darkness.

This is a seriously dark story. I would expect nothing less from Hill

Flashback Friday: Etch-a-Sketch Animator

~ lobablanca

Hey, look! It’s time for another episode of “80s Toys Loved by Very, Very White Kids”!

//www.youtube-nocookie.com/embed/lj8xfyc-pD4

Nice Mondrian print on the wall. Cubes. Get it? Yeah. I guess a Picasso would have been too subtle.

Of course, I was one of the few very, very White kids to receive an Etch-a-Sketch Animator.

Loba Tangent: I don’t know why I keep focusing on race with this…I’m sure that plenty of kids of other races were frustrated to death by their very own Animator. Really, I just enjoy making fun of the kid in this commercial, who just happens to be White and nerdy. And now we need to stop and watch this:

//www.youtube-nocookie.com/embed/N9qYF9DZPdw

I have no cute story to tell about this toy. Actually, it was incredibly tedious and wore down my limited reserves of child patience very quickly. I could only work with it for a little while before the tedium of “Draw It. Save It. Draw It. Save It.” became too much. I still have it though, in storage and in its original box:

animatorbox

Yes, it’s still in its original box. IN ITS ORIGINAL STYROFOAM. I don’t have an explanation, denizens. I have a problem.

Flashback Friday: Bewitched

~ lobablanca ~ 2 Comments

Ah, the age-old question finally rears its ugly head here at the lair: Bewitched? Or I Dream of Jeannie?

Well, if you like your all-powerful women to remain subservient and wishing only to do your bidding while scantily clad and calling you “Master”…then you’re a pig.

However, if you like your magical immortals a little more head-strong, a little more mischievous, a little more in control…then it’s all about Samantha Stephens, my friends.

samantha

Yeah, yeah, I’m being hyperbolic yet again. I Dream of Jeannie wasn’t completely misogynistic (although damn if it didn’t try really hard to be) and Bewitched wasn’t 100-percent “girl power.” It was, after all, a show about a witch who decided to suppress her true self to please the mortal man she married. However, even as a kid, I always felt like Jeannie was…wrong. Not that I felt like Samantha was right in wanting to deny her own unique powers just because they made Darrin feel like less of the man of the house. Still, there was something about Jeannie’s obsequious nature…that fragile desperation to please Major Nelson and that gushing heartbreak to which she would succumb when her attempts inevitably failed…it just annoyed me. Meanwhile, I was always happiest when Samantha’s attempts to “be normal” failed and we were treated to yet another episode of witchy nose-twitching hilarity. Plus, rarely did Samantha kowtow to Darrin. And heaven help the poor man if he pissed her off. Or, even worse, if he pissed off Endora. Hell hath no fury like a mother-in-law with occult powers.

endora

Ah, Endora. I have to say, as much as I adored Elizabeth Montgomery as Samantha, I think it was supporting cast like Agnes Moorehead’s performance as Endora and Paul Lynde as Uncle Arthur who made Bewitched all the more beguiling to me.

//www.youtube-nocookie.com/embed/JTXEnCc-pco

With family like this, Samantha had no chance of denying who she was. And Darrin had no chance of ever having a “traditional” marriage, no matter how much he wanted it. Who needs tradition, though, when you’ve got Paul Lynde?

Of course, one of the first things that most people ask about is the issue of “The Two Darrins.” Dick York, the original actor cast as Darrin Stephens, Samantha’s constantly bewitched, bothered, and bewildered mortal husband, could no longer stand the constant pain he was in from a back injury he suffered in 1959 while filming the movie They Came to Cordura. The crew did all manner of things to make him more comfortable on the set, including building special furniture for him. He lasted as Darrin Stephens from 1964 until a collapse on the set in 1969 marked his abrupt retirement. From then until the series end in 1972, Dick Sargent portrayed Darrin Stephens.

Rather than give you comparing photos of York and Sargent, I’m just going to leave the two animated intros, featuring caricatures of each actor, right here…because, I love the cartoon Samantha (so much so that I have a coffee mug bedecked with her bewitching countenance) and, frankly, I need to include the theme song to this show at some point in this flashback. It’s one of two theme songs I’ve ever downloaded as a ring tone…that’s how much I love it. So first, Dick York:

//www.youtube-nocookie.com/embed/XRZitnndpoY

And now Dick Sargent:
//www.youtube-nocookie.com/embed/txP2JK2ecmA

And, just because I love that I finally found this, here’s a clip of the original theme song, as sung by Steve Lawrence. I always heard that the theme had lyrics but it was years before I finally confirmed the rumors for myself. This version is obviously trying to give off a Frank Sinatra vibe, which kind of works for me. I’m glad that they used the instrumental for the show (especially since Lawrence seemed to enjoy singing the word “witch” with quite a bit of gusto that gave a sinister element to this version), but this is pretty groovy for a listen or two:

//www.youtube-nocookie.com/embed/mKOGTiSGlYY

Back to the Darrins, I’m sure this was a rather unexpected switch, especially back in the pre-Internet days when audiences simply had to accept it without explanation, but it wasn’t a change drastic enough to cause people to stop watching. I’m sure, though, that a lot of Bewitched fans were used to switch-ups like this thanks to soap operas doing similar things. To be honest, when I watched the show, I never really cared. I mean, I think I preferred Dick York to Dick Sargent, but honestly? I wasn’t watching for Darrin. Darrin was…well, I won’t say he was a necessary evil. He was the catalyst for the show’s purpose, which was more Samantha, more Endora, and more Uncle Arthur. Beyond that, meh.

[Loba Tangent: I have to give a bit of credit here to another classic sitcom, Roseanne, for using this infamous Darrin debacle to acknowledge their own need to replace actress Alicia Goranson, the show’s original Becky, with Sarah Chalke when Goranson decided to attend college. Actually, this YouTube clip showcases not only this switcharoo nod but also Goranson’s return…and Chalke’s return…and…well, just watch. Nice spoof of The Patty Duke Show as well!]

//www.youtube-nocookie.com/embed/6HYXTyrZLfM

It’s been a very long time since I last saw an episode of Bewitched, but I can assure you, denizens, this show played a huge role in fashioning the twitchy-witchy wolf I am today. Not even that awful Will Ferrell abomination of a remake could dull my love for the original series (although I have to admit, Shirley MacLaine was damned good as Endora and Steve Carell made quite the convincing Uncle Arthur…too bad everyone else, including the screen writer, botched everything else).

Plus, any time one of my favorite sitcoms crosses streams with one of my favorite cartoons? Stick a fork in me, because I. Am. Done. No, Samantha never joined forces with my favorite teen sleuths and their pesky Great Dane (I think that might have been more than I could handle). She did, however, find her way to the quaint little town of Bedrock. Oh, yes, denizens. The Stephenses met the Flintstones. And the Rubbles. And hilarity, indeed, ensued. Plus some awesome meta-ness that still cracks me up. I’ll just leave these here for you while I twitch off…

//www.youtube-nocookie.com/embed/puwyccNsLdQ

//www.youtube-nocookie.com/embed/MqcqoydxSS0

//www.youtube-nocookie.com/embed/R_z1GkwNobQ

Flashback Friday: When Frat Boys Attack

~ lobablanca

I feel I owe you something special this week, denizens. I’ve been flaky enough as it is for the better part of this year…but then I didn’t even show up last Friday for our now weekly meetup here. Mea culpa.

So what have I brought to make up for this unexcused absence? Something special, indeed. Whether that’s a good thing or a bad thing…well, that’s something that you’re going to have to decide on your own.

A little history: When I was one of Testudo’s minions, I had the pleasure of being one of the first English majors to take part in a new concentration one of the tenured professors was working on, based on the spark of potential he saw for us in the steadily growing online world.

Yes, I know how old that last paragraph makes me sound. Shut up.

He was an awesome professor, and one of the few I encountered while at the University of Maryland who wanted more than just his own words parroted back to him. He wanted creativity. He wanted different, weird, strange, provocative, pensive, funny, angry, querulous, bewildering, bemused…he wanted original and unhinged and reaching and odd. He wanted us to climb into the spaces of this new world and see what we could build.

This was one of the most enjoyable classes I took the entire time I was in college. No syllabus, no textbook, no rules, no limits. He had two major assignments, both involving our own creativity and steadily increasing familiarity with HTML coding and graphic design programs. The first project involved designing an online space, with different “rooms” into which visitors could enter in whatever way we deemed most appropriate. We needed a theme…everything else was up to us. Basically, he wanted us to show him how we could take the power of words and combine them with the power of code to create a whole new, interactive reading experience.

I called my project “Tongue: Hypertextual Experimentation.” I based the themes of my “rooms” on the different taste bud groupings: sweet, bitter, sour, and salty. I even built little “hallway” pop-ups that blended the various taste groups together in short little vignettes as you transitioned from one room to the next. And I had Steven Tyler be my visitors’ guide:

ACOUST

I was a long way from Shop-Fu in those days. But I had way more time and creative energy, which was what really mattered. I also had a blast doing this project. I loved each of the pieces that I wrote for the different rooms, but I think “Bitter” was my favorite. Surprise, right?

I named the piece I wrote for this room “Diatribe,” with the tag line “Because Bitter Is A Better Way Of Life.”

I really haven’t changed much at all, have I?

Needless to say, it is an incredibly bitter bit of writing, even for me. Lots of bitterness bubbling just below the surface for that young little wolf. But, embedded as one of the many links I used to make my rooms truly “hypertextual,” was this little gem, which I called “When Frat Boys Attack”:

I had often heard about the fabled “Frat Boy” but I had never actually seen one up close and in action before. After all, the ones who had been in class with me in the past usually only made it in once every week or so and when they did show up, they’d be sleeping off a hangover in the back of the room. And it would be an easier task to get me to hang glide off the Empire State Building than to drag me to a Frat Party at any university (and if you knew how scared I am of heights, this statement would mean a lot more to you than it does right now).

My inexperience with Frat Boys was destined to end, however, in a most bizarre fashion.

I suppose I should let you know this

Flashback Friday: Shrinky Dinks

~ lobablanca

We’re going to pretend that today’s Flashback Friday is about Shrinky Dinks, those magical sheets of plastic that you colored, cut out, and then stuck in the oven to shrink them down into brittle, scalding “fun” sizes. But, seriously, this photo just looks like it fell out of the 1980s, doesn’t it?

shrinkydinks

That was my little 13-inch television on which I played Hunt the Wumpus and all my other awesome generic ripoffs of cool Atari games that came with my TI-99/4A computer. Sadly, if I tried to play a video game on a television this small now, I’d probably have to tape magnifying lenses overtop my glasses. Old age: Run away!

This is also the television that I discovered Sisters on…but this Betamax VCR was not exclusively mine; this was the family VCR for years. We watched all kinds of Disney cartoons and live-action movies and whatever else the local mom-and-pop store offered on Beta tape. I remember a lot of things like K9 (we never could get Turner and Hooch, so we had to settle for James Belushi and a German shepherd…had a happier ending from what I remember) and Savannah Smiles, which I know we must have rented at least once a month, but I couldn’t tell you what it was about if my life depended on it. I also used to tape all kinds of movies from my childhood on this little machine…horribly cheesy films like Troop Beverly Hills and the remake of The Blob that always made my dad shake his head when he would pass by and see me designing special labels for these movies with my packet of Crayola markers.

So, sure, we can pretend that this entry is all about Shrinky Dinks…but what could I possibly say about Shrinky Dinks that I didn’t say in the very first sentence? These are Smurfs. I also did Shrinky Dinks for He-Man and Battle Cat, but I couldn’t find those on the day that I was taking these photos. I used to color my Smurf Shrinky Dinks while listening to my Smurfs All Star Show album. Dude, I was totally meta, even as a little Loba.

Flashback Friday: Trapper Keeper

~ lobablanca

You won’t believe this, denizens. I don’t believe it.

Mead still makes Trapper Keepers!

Actually, that site doesn’t really provide a nice view of the modern Trapper Keeper. Here, have this Amazon.com view.

Looks like they’re now made with solid-color fabric covers, with a sturdy metal snap to hold them shut and sturdy metal rings that I’m sure clack shut with percussive reassurance.

How dull.

Nope. I want my Trapper Keeper made completely of plastic and cardboard. I want a Velcro closure and a little plastic tab that, when you pull on it, makes the plastic rings slide open and shut in absolute silence. I want the flap to be held on with thin, destined-to-become-more-brittle-with-age plastic piping that tatters and rips throughout the year, until by the time summer vacation arrives, those tattered edges have several times snagged your clothing and sliced through the skin on your palms like paper cuts on steroids. I want special folders in bright primary colors, branded with the Trapper Keeper logo. And I want the outside decorated with something inspiring. Like a tiger. I want a Tiger Trapper Keeper.

Image attributed to like the 80s
Image attributed to like the 80s

I actually did have this exact Trapper Keeper one year. One year is a pretty good record for a Trapper Keeper. Then again, that was the joy (for kids, but a money-sucking pain for parents, I’m sure) of the Trapper Keeper: You got to get a new one each year. One that would properly express your ever-evolving personality through pictures, designs, and colors. Either that or show everyone that you were late to the Back-to-School sale and all they had left was the one with the prancing horse in a meadow.

Which is fine if you like horses. Otherwise, you end up suffering from an extreme case of Trapper Keeper envy for an entire year. Not that I know anything about such things.

[Loba Tangent: What the hell did I know about horses? I’d never even ridden a horse at that point!! Well, except for that glue-factory candidate they dragged out at the local elementary school’s summer carnival for kids to climb onto and clatter about in a parking lot for 10 minutes. That poor little beast sure wasn’t going to take you prancing through a verdant meadow.]

Actually, likethe80s has quite a few photos of Trapper Keepers, including this infamous horse one. They even apparently did research for their post.

Pfft. Research. Really, it’s all about the photos they have. Nice walk down memory lane…although I’m not going to lie, denizens…I’m a little concerned by the hoarding nature of the person holding onto all these Trapper Keepers. Let them go! Let that horse finally run free!!

Oh, and if you scroll to the bottom of their page, you’ll find a link to their post on Mac Tonight, who I recently blathered on about here a couple weeks ago. Their post is nice and all, but they don’t have what I have: This photo, taken for me by an awesome ImagiFriendTM who was kind enough to indulge my recent mooning over Mac.

Heh. I see what I did there.

mactonight

Flashback Friday: Haunted Honeymoon

~ lobablanca

I’ve been thinking a lot about Gilda Radner lately. Probably because, even though I don’t keep track of the actual date anymore, I know that this is around the time of year when she passed away after struggling against ovarian cancer.

[Loba Tangent: For the record, she died May 20, 1989, less than one month after her comedic inspiration, Lucille Ball, died. I don’t know why these weird little things stick in my brain.]

It was around 1988 that Nick at Nite began airing early episodes of Saturday Night Live, and I knew I had to watch for Gilda. I’d already fallen in love with her thanks to the movie of merit in today’s flashback, and I couldn’t wait to see more. Her kooky cavalcade of regular characters, like mushroom-haired Roseanne Roseannadanna, hard-of-hearing Emily Litella, punk rocker Candy Slice, Baba Wawa (I’m sure you can take a wild guess which television journalist this character skewered), nerd icon Lisa Loopner, and Judy Miller, the hyperactive Brownie with the overactive imagination, were always among my absolute favorites from the show. Her random vignettes, like “What’s in Gilda’s purse,” were odd and oddly revealing of the fragility of character that so many entertainers hide behind their creativity. Her Lucille Ball impersonation was impeccable. Her improvisational skills were beautiful. In fact, one of my all-time favorite moments from these early SNL shows comes from a line flub from show host Candice Bergen that Gilda ran with, to hilarious effect (not to mention leaving Bergen in tears from laughing so hard in the background, while Gilda simply pressed onward, never once missing a beat).

Don’t believe me? Watch.

https://www.youtube-nocookie.com/embed/Q6o3qTykxKU

Wait, what was that? The Right to Extreme Stupidity League? I think I saw them downtown. They’re called Congress now.

I digress. Hugely.

Needless to say, these reruns made me an even bigger Gilda fan. What started my admiration, however, was this silly little movie that she made in 1986, with her husband Gene Wilder. Haunted Honeymoon, written and directed by Wilder (with writing assistance from Terence Marsh), was this bizarre amalgamation of comedy, horror, musical, and murder mystery filtered through a noir lens by way of the radio serial format that was so popular during the 1940s-era setting of this film’s events.

Sounds crazy, right? Throw in werewolves and Dom DeLuise in drag, plus that strangely esoteric humor that Wilder infused into all his movies and…well, I’m not really sure what you’ve got. Neither were most people. Critics panned Haunted Honeymoon and audiences didn’t really bother showing up while the film was in theaters. For a week.

Yes, you read that correctly.

It’s a shame, really. I think this is quite an underrated and absurd little film, full of all manner of bizarreness that appeals to my peculiar sense of humor. Admittedly, you cannot watch this movie without disconnecting whatever need for logic and plausibility that you might possess, but sometimes it’s nice to turn these parts of your brain off and allow a bit of nonsensical silliness to wash over you.

Don’t believe me? Watch.

https://www.youtube-nocookie.com/embed/SXXjGjhjTus

I’m telling you, denizens, this one is utterly crazy in that supremely Wilderian style…and Gilda was up to the task of keeping up every step of the way. Plus, the over-the-top setting, both of the house and the dinner party motif, as well as the strange cast of questionable characters with their questionable motives has always reminded me of another one of my favorite childhood movies, Clue.

I used to catch this movie on television all the time, either in its terribly edited format or late at night on one of the cable movie channels, but I haven’t seen it in years. I suppose since it isn’t as popular as some of Wilder’s other films like Young Frankenstein or his go as Willy Wonka, most channels don’t think to play it. Besides, how many people really want to see Dom DeLuise in a dress?

You know, besides me.

I’m not going to tell any of you that this is a “must see” film. As much as I love it for my own personal reasons, I could recommend other, better movies from Wilder’s career. I’d also recommend early SNL seasons or her one-woman Broadway show Gilda Live! for a better idea of Radner’s comedic genius. However, I have to admit that on the rare occasions that I have found this little, oft-ignored gem playing on cable, I always stop. I kind of have to. Netflix doesn’t offer it, either on DVD or streaming instantly, and I failed to buy the DVD before MGM stopped making it. Now, I have to wait patiently to find a used copy either on Amazon Marketplace or eBay that isn’t ridiculously priced. That’s okay, though. I can be very patient.

Until next time, this is your host wishing you…pleasant dreams…

BookBin2013: Ether

~ lobablanca

ether

My final read from our recent journey was Ben Ehrenreich’s Ether, another City Lights acquisition. Here, first, is the description from the back cover:

A bearded man in a badly soiled suit known only as The Stranger wanders an apocalyptic landscape on the fringes of a dying metropolis, looking for a way to “get back on top.” Thwarted and rejected at every turn by old friends and strangers alike