Flashback Friday: Clue

Two of my Internet PersonalitiesTM just had a conversation that sounded something like this:

R: Hey, remember Clue?
L: Yeah, I love that movie!
R: So do I! It’s one of my favorite childhood movies!
L: Mine, too!!
R: So why haven’t you ever written about it for a Flashback Friday?
L: Uh…I have. But thanks for reading my blog. Jerk.
R: Don’t make me space you.
L: I’d like to see you try, Ridges.
R: Okay, that’s it!! Bring it, Wolf Girl!!

It was at this point that I had to step in and break things up before things got messy. Things are messy enough inside my brain…I don’t need blood and fur flying up there, too. Needless to say, though, I am surprised to realize that I have, indeed, never written about Clue here at the lair. Time to rectify this severe lapse in my judgment.

Seriously, though, there’s not all that much to say about this movie. I wish I could say that it’s a cinematic classic that will endure for ages as a masterpiece of modern film making.

In truth, it’s a completely ridiculous mid-80s ensemble flick based on a silly board game. Still, it delights me to my core for how it continues to make me laugh and evoke the best childhood memories. This was one of the movies that we always watched at my BFF’s annual birthday slumber party (you know, when I wasn’t busy barfing Dimetapp all over their hall). This was also the first time that I ever saw several of the actors and actresses with whom I would inevitably fall in love, including Christopher “Where we’re going, we won’t need roads” Lloyd, that sweet transsexual Transylvanian transvestite Tim Curry, and Madeline Kahn, who remains one of the funniest human beings to have ever existed.

Even if you’ve never played the game Clue (like me…I’ve never played it and never intend to…remember, I told you once before, I don’t like board games), you can still understand and enjoy this movie. It’s solid, silly fun, innocent enough for your inner child but with plenty of double entendres and subtle sexiness to titillate your adult exterior. And wanna talk quote fest? This movie is jam-packed with some of the silliest one-liners and character exchanges of any movie I’ve ever seen.

Plus, it’s got three different endings! What’s not to love about that?

See, the film makers decided that, in order to keep that board game “unexpected outcome” feeling, they made three endings for the movie. They then proceeded to send out random copies of the three different prints to all the movie theaters that planned to show Clue. So your “killer” ending depended on where you saw the movie. I think that’s pretty damned clever. Plus, if you own the DVD (which I do), you can select an option that will randomize the ending you see. Never fear, though: You can also select the option that will allow you to see all three endings.

So, there you go. If you haven’t seen this movie, check it out. If you have seen it…see it again. Loba’s orders. Oh, and remember, monkey’s brains, though popular in Cantonese cuisine, are not often to be found in Washington D.C.