So here’s the deal: Last month, I came across this list of “50 Most Bad-Ass Female Horror Leads.” You all know me. I love horror. I also love bad-ass women.

That being said, I have to say that this list sorely misses the mark in many ways. First, the originators of the list need a lesson in the difference between horror, science fiction, and fantasy. Second, they need to make a good list rather than a list littered with characters added just to rile people rather than provide a satisfying user experience. This is the only reason I can come up with as to why Buffy is listed as third on this list. Also, they need to learn a little respect. Some of the characters they placed high on the list wouldn’t have existed without some of the characters they ranked embarrassingly low (or not at all).

That all being said, I decided that I would come up with my own list. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that a true list wouldn’t really be fair. Sometimes, a character is really awesome because of what she’s doing throughout the movie. Sometimes, she’s awesome simply because she’s the lead and holding her own for the most part. One character is a hell raiser and one is a ground breaker. One might not have existed without the other, even though the latter might be stronger than the former. Basically, it’s apples and blood oranges.

But never fear, denizens! I have come up with a solution. I have created a list (I love lists) of all the female characters I think deserve the title of “Horror Bad Ass.” That means that the women on my list come from actual horror movies (sorry, Selene, Alice, and Buffy). They come from modern movies and classics. They come from American movies and foreign films. I even collected recommendations, just to make sure that I wasn’t missing any main characters. My only rules for considering these characters is that I have to have seen the movie from which they came and they have to have played a central proactive role in said movie.

Next step? I cut up the list, folded each name, and put all the slips of paper into a box. Now, every day throughout the month of May, I’m going to shake up these names and draw a random one to feature here. See? Random chance will be my ranking tool. Also, there are more than 31 names in this box, so that means that not every character I’ve chosen will make the cut. But the bottom line is that every character I put up here throughout May is going to be a character I think deserves to be included in my “Ladies of Horror May-hem” series.

Yes, this is how my brain works. Welcome to the horror show, denizens…