I know…it’s been a while since I took you all on a Flashback journey. You simply would not believe the year I’ve been having. But that’s for another time, another post.

Maybe.

Today, I’m feeling festively reminiscent. Boxes have been arriving all week at the lair, and I’ve been scampering about, putting together presents and packages that I hope will make those I care about understand that, even though I’m notoriously terrible at giving “the right thing,” my sometimes strange or questionable gift choices come from a place of love. Quirky, nerdy love.

What does this have to do with Planters Cheez Balls? When I was a kid, one of the most awesome gifts we’d get each year as a family would be the big bag of goodies that my aunt and uncle would put together for us. These bags were like present potpourri…everything was in there! A rotating cavalcade of chocolates, candy, trinkets, tchotchkes, tools, ornaments, stuffed animals, and more…but always…always a canister of Planters Cheez Balls.

I don’t even know what it was about these frighteningly Day-Glo orange “puffed cheese flavor” balls, but they were like gold in our world. Sought, prized, pilfered, and fought over. Nothing was more wonderful than crunching blissfully away, one cheez ball at a time, a bright orange patina dusting our lips and fingertips. Subsequently, nothing was sadder than reaching in and hitting nothing but the bottom of the canister.

For some unfathomable reasons, Planters discontinued Cheez Balls. I know I’m not the only one who found them achingly addictive, so it makes me wonder if they weren’t sent to pasture more for horrifyingly high fat contents than for lack of interest. I don’t remember nutrition facts…but I do know that, to this day, my inner fat girl would body-slam you in a heartbeat to get her hands on a canister.

You have been warned.

I wish I could find some of these canisters now, if only for nostalgia. If only because, strangely, these unnaturally colored, artificially flavored offenses to my English major spell-checker sensibilities are synonymous in my mind to love. I would give a canister to everyone on my list and hope that they understood the deeper meaning of my quirky, nerdy intentions.

Cheez Balls mean I love you.