Darktober 26: Coney Island Freaktoberfest

Brewer: Shmaltz Brewing Company
Location: Saratoga Springs, New York
Type: American Amber/Red Lager
ABV: 6.66%

I honestly don’t know why I chose this one, denizens. You know, beyond the kitsch factor, which, let’s face it, is just pouring from this beer like pigs’ blood on prom night. Grotesque label art, a diabolical ABV level, and a blood red coloring all make this one helluva freaky beer.

Of course, rather than looking like blood, this beer looks more like a glass of Kool-Aid. Maybe Hi-C. I’m not sure. I do know that it’s not an appealing beer color at all. It looks like something went horribly wrong in the brewing process. What might have made it worse was the massive pink frothy head. It’s just not a visually appealing beer. Leaves a massive amount of lacing along the inside of the glass, though. Probably the most lacing of any beer I’ve had this month. Here, I took a photo, just for you:

That’s some serious lacing.

The nose on this one reveals the heavy hoppiness that I feared, mixed with a high-volume syrupiness. Taste is quite similar. It’s not nearly as hoppy as I was expecting from the smell, but it’s hoppy enough. And sweet. Too sweet. And bitter. But not bitter enough to disguise the sweet. It’s seriously like someone knocked a jug of bargain-bin fruit punch into the vat that was brewing this beer.

For the kitsch alone, I guess it was worth trying this beer. From a serious beer drinking standpoint, though? No way. Don’t waste your money, denizens. Or if you must, just to say you’ve tried it, definitely stick with a single bottle. Unless you’ve got three other souls you’re itching to torment this Freaktober…