I know this is going to sound strange coming from someone so eager to talk about her anthropomorphized car (hi, Sammy!), but anthropomorphized food really creeps me out. All I can think when I see talking food is that we’ve given personalities to things we’re going to eat. Not only that, but we’ve given them personalities as a means of encouraging us to eat them. It feels eerily cannibalistic to me.

But that’s exactly what happened back in 1986 when the California Raisin Advisory Board introduced us to the Claymation Sensation known as the California Raisins. The first commercial was the California Raisins singing the Marvin Gaye song, “I Heard It Through the Grapevine.”

I always liked this one better:

I don’t know who else voiced the rest of the Raisins, but the “lead” Raisin was voiced by Buddy Miles, probably most famous for being the drummer from Jimi Hendrix’s Band of Gypsys. Jimi Hendrix to Raisin? Eh, whatever pays the bills, right?

A whole bunch (hehe) of these commercials hit the airwaves over the next several years, some featuring just the generic raisin group. Some, however, featured recognizable popular artists, like Ray Charles and even this classic, featuring…well, I’m sure you’ll figure it out on your own:

And, of course, there was the marketing blitz. Albums, lunchboxes, T-shirts, posters, school supplies, even a Saturday morning cartoon (sigh…what the hell happened to Saturday morning cartoons?). I think there might have even been a video game. I can’t even fathom the hours of fun that must have provided! Also, if you look back at the top of this post, you’ll see my little collection of the promotional figures from Hardee’s. Mmm, Hardee’s.

All this worked wonders for both the California Raisin Advisory Board and, ironically, the Toilet Paper Makers of America, who noticed a significant increase in the sale of their products, especially whenever a new California Raisins commercial hit the airwaves.

Sorry. That was graphic and probably only funny to people with potty humor. Might cheer someone up if they’re down in the dumps though. Okay, I’ll stop now. These are shit jokes anyway.

Heehee…