L o b a B l a n c a {dot} c o m

Finally! A poster from my own collection! I’ll try to refrain from excessive gushing about how much I love the book and the musical or relay yet again how I stalked Idina Menzel all the way to London for the chance to see her as Elphaba. That’s not the purpose of the Poster Pick entry. Besides, you already know I’m unhinged. Must we dwell on the evidence that supports this?

True to my love of simplicity, I adore this poster design. It’s a very sparse line drawing, which makes perfect sense in its context. This is a poster advertising a musical, which not only has a rapid turnaround on cast members but can also be playing in several different places at once. And, unlike movies, when a musical is playing many places simultaneously, it’s obviously never going to be with one universal cast.

So, as a means of saving on cash as well as the time it’s going to take to keep updating all the marketing materials, a lot of musical promoters stick with something a bit more generic. Case in point: Phantom of the Opera, Les Miserables, Cats. Three of the highest-grossing musicals ever, and all three have very generic but universally recognizable poster designs.

So, anyway, back to Wicked. We start out with a brilliant tagline: “So Much Happened Before Dorothy Dropped In.” This depends heavily on a bit of pop-culture knowledge, since the “Dorothy” in question is Ms. Gale of the star known as Kansas (of course, if you’re not familiar with The Wizard of Oz, this isn’t the only time you’re going to be a bit lost with this poster pick). The impish part of this tagline is the “dropped in” part. Dorothy’s arrival into Oz occurred when her house dropped on top of the Wicked Witch of the East.

But, what took place before this splatterific arrival made us privvy to the machinations of this fantastical world?

Then we get the major design element: two witches, sharing a secret. We know that they’re witches because they both wear pointy witch hats (duh!). We also see one is in black and the other is in white, classic visual delineations of good versus evil. What’s noteworthy is how the “wicked” witch not only occupies the center spot of this poster, but also takes up the most room in the design.

Okay, from here on, I’m going to refer to them by their names in the musical: Glinda is the Good Witch, of course; Elphaba is the Wicked Witch.

We see more of Elphaba’s hat, and her hair and cloak blend together to take up most of the bottom portion of the poster. Also, the portion of the poster not taken up by either witch is a green the same color as Elphaba’s skin. She is the controlling element in this design, without question. Glinda is relegated to the edge of the design and is seen only in profile, with most of her face covered by her hand, while Elphaba faces us straight-on.

Don’t you love the wicked little grin on Elphaba’s face? Whatever could Glinda be whispering in her ear? Also, this is another key part of the design. We know from the original story that Glinda and Elphaba are supposed to be enemies. This pose speaks to quite a different relationship prior to Dorothy’s arrival. Were they once friends? What happened to change that so dramatically? Do tell!

One more comment on the black/white overlay of the witches: I love how the curve of Glinda’s sleeve against Elphaba’s cloak forms a design element reminiscent of the curve of the yin and yang, two contrary but interconnected elements. Mmm, tasty, tasty foreshadowing.

Throw in a few flying monkeys, and you’ve got your main design. The flying monkeys are both another link to tie this story to the original as well as another bit of foreshadowing regarding the story that this musical is going to tell us. Of all the recognizable images they could have used, what could be so important about the flying monkeys? Hmm…

The next part of this poster utilizes one of my favorite tricks of the trade: how to deal with two leads who might be offended if they don’t get top billing over the other. This poster is from the original musical, which starred the aforementioned Idina Menzel as Elphaba and Kristin Chenoweth as Glinda. Note that, looking at the names vertically, Menzel’s name is listed higher than Chenoweth’s. Looking at it horizontally, Chenoweth comes first. Bruised egos averted. Brilliant!

The next name to be mentioned is the Wizard himself, played in this version by Joel Grey. Theater buffs will immediately recognize his name (Willkommen? Bienvenue? Anyone?), so that was a wise play by the designer to include him as an extra hook. Besides, he is the eponymous character from the story that gave inspiration to this one; I think he deserves at least one mention.

[And while it is true that this poster is still going to have to be tweaked each time the leads rotate out, it's going to take far less time and effort to update text than it would be to update a slew of cast shots from poster to poster. Time is money, remember.]

Finally, we get the name of the musical, written in a gorgeous, bold serif font, complete with a little wicked witch on her broomstick to dot the “i.” Right beneath, in a complementary green, is the second tagline: “The Untold Story of the Witches of Oz.”

It’s such a simple design, isn’t it? But it works on so many glorious levels.

Poster Pick Bonus: UK Wicked Poster

A few brief words on the UK version of this poster. Wicked debuted on the West End back in September 2006. This would be the debut that partially inspired Loba’s London Stalker Tour. To prepare, the British company gave the original Wicked poster a bit of a sprucing (kind of like what Dorothy & Co. received when they entered the Emerald City). The simple design was given more realism, the witches given definition to their faces and wardrobe.

It’s a lovely effort, but I think I like the more abstract American design better (Loba is choosing an American version over a British version? Quick, check the temperature in hell!). Still, the designer did a great enough job with the update that it deserves a place here as well.

Here’s another entry that’s been writing itself in my brain for a while. This is the “British Quad” poster for 2004′s Shaun of the Dead. I figured it was time to showcase the British Quad style of movie poster, and what better way than with a British movie?

So, first, a bit of poster pedantry. Here in the States, most movie posters, referred to as “one sheets,” are designed for a vertical format and are generally sized at 27 inches wide by 40 inches tall (although sometimes they can be 39 inches or 41 inches…I really don’t know why the discrepancy, but 40 is usually the norm). These are the posters that you see hanging in light boxes throughout the movie theaters. These are also generally double-sided, with a mirror image printed on the back. I’ve got several of these posters, and sometimes I like to display them with the mirror image showing rather than the proper side. I’m a little weird like that. The purpose of the double-sided printing is to give the image a bit more substance when the light from the light box shines through (makes the lit-up image look richer than if the back was just white).

Anyway, over in the UK, they prefer their movie posters in a horizontal format. Queen’s prerogative and all, you see. Actually, I’m not really sure why they like their posters in a horizontal layout, but I do like how most often the U.S. design needs to be altered, sometimes significantly, to fit the quad format, which is 40 inches wide by 30 inches tall (don’t ask me for the metric size; I’m American and my brain simply isn’t that talented).

So, Shaun of the Dead. Right from the start, fans of the zombie genre will recognize that the title is a delightful play on the title of the George Romero classic Dawn of the Dead. Already, we’re clued in to the fact that this is going to be a spoofy take on the zombie flick.

The U.S. design is all right, but there is something so delightful and so intrinsically English about the UK Quad version. We start out with the tagline, “Ever Felt Like You Were Surrounded By Zombies?” in a nice, smooth sans serif font. The entire image is composed of what I’m sure any proper Londoner will immediately recognize as the doors to an Underground train car. The black rubber of the closed doors perfectly bisects the design, and you get the two windows on each side taking up a significant portion of the design.

What I love most about the choice of the Tube setting is the double meaning it gives to the tagline’s “surrounded by zombies” statement. Anyone who takes public transportation with any frequency will understand the figurative take. Sitting or standing in a packed-to-capacity train car, not yet fully awake, surrounded by other still-groggy commuters smelling of coffee, toothpaste, and too much cologne/perfume…it’s the zombie shuffle in its truest form as we worker bee automatons drag ourselves on our programmed daily commutes. All that’s missing are the bloody body parts on the floor and random cries for “Braaaaaainnnnnssss!” (Actually, I’ve had morning commutes that came pretty close to having both…but that’s for another post.)

Here, however, the tagline takes on a more literal meaning as we see this particular train is packed with zombies…and our hero. I love how the most vivid colors on this poster are the blood-red train doors and our eponymous Shaun and his bouquet of flowers. The zombies all have properly pale zombie skin, but even the color of their clothing has been muted. Check the zombie dude in the bottom right corner; his red outfit has been dulled to a muted rust color (I feel like I should be writing “colour” in honor/honour of this movie).

Our eyes are irrefutably drawn to Shaun because of his vivid coloring—the yellow flowers, the red of his tie, the pink flush of his living skin—as well as the wonderful look on his face. Not necessarily a look of fear…more of reserved disquiet. It’s a wonderful “WTF” look if ever I saw one. I also love how Shaun is the only one on the train who isn’t looking forward. All the zombies are pretty much making eye contact with anyone looking at this poster. Shaun, however, is looking at what the rest of us are looking at…all those effing zombies.

We then follow the design down to the title of the movie, again presented in a sans serif font (I know it sounds incredibly nerdy when I point out the font type, but I’m a bit of a font geek and have in fact been accused of font snobbery, an accusation I rather happily accept). This is a nice, bold font as well, quite striking in appearance. It’s been distressed, although the red of the Tube doors makes the title look instead like it’s been splattered with blood. Also, note how the “A” in “Dead” is partially formed by a hand reaching upward in a rigor-mortised claw of classic zombie design. Sweet.

Then comes the second tagline, “A Romantic Comedy. With Zombies.” followed by the movie’s Web site, “www.romzom.com” (which is, sadly, no longer the movie site). I love how the URL has such perfect symmetry as well as plays, perhaps unintentionally, with the fact that we typically hear about “rom-coms,” those schmaltzy romantic comedies that make you feel so close to sugar coma by the end that you get a free shot of insulin as you’re leaving the theater. Here, there’s a bit of an interruption in the rom-com in the form of zom…romzomcom.

This poster gives you everything you need to know about this movie while giving you absolutely nothing. All it tells us is that there are going to be zombies. And romance. And humor. Er, humour. And a guy named Shaun. Oh, and it’s all going to be very British. But, as with previous picks for this series, this poster does its job so very brilliantly. It’s concise, it’s clever, it’s whimsical, it’s well planned and executed, and it gives the proper amount of teasing needed to draw people and make them want to know more.

So, there you go. Our very first Quad poster. Hope you enjoyed it…and if you haven’t yet seen Shaun of the Dead, whatever are you waiting for?

This wasn’t the next poster that I was planning on analyzing, but I couldn’t help but be mesmerized by it when I first saw it. I don’t think this was ever an actual movie poster. I think it’s the design created only for the movie tie-in release of Neil Gaiman’s book. It’s the cover on the version that my parents gave me for Christmas.

I love this design so very much.

First and foremost, it’s all about the circular patterns in this poster. I’m already very drawn to designs that focus on curves and circular patterns. I’m fascinated by all the implications of the circle…the concepts of completion, wholeness, fullness. The ouroboros and its representation of eternal return. Or just how cool it looked as a tattoo for Dana Scully. So to see such a skillful repetition of circular themes in this poster makes my heartstrings sing.

It’s also quite provocative, indicative of an artist skilled at weaving the symbols of mythology throughout their design, particularly symbols that evoke the mythologies of feminine power. Most prominent is the fullness of that amazing moon. Anyone familiar with mythology knows there are myriad implications behind the presence of a full moon: lycanthropy, lunacy, increased fertility…some have ascribed this latter to a correlation drawn between the 28-day cycle of the moon’s waxing and waning and the menstrual cycles of fertile women. The power of the moon is also strongly associated with witchcraft, an association that Wiccans have thoroughly embraced through many of their practices and rituals.

The imagery of the moon here definitely invokes that sense of witchcraft, especially when combined with the image of our young heroine, Coraline, with her makeshift divining rod and her “familiar”…the mysterious black cat leading her onward. Everyone knows the superstition about black cats, right? Okay. How about the divining rod? This is a tool utilized in what is known as, among other names, “divining,” “dowsing,” or “water witching.” Whatever is our little water witch going to do with her divining rod?

Another aspect of this moon that I find particularly interesting is the image of it shining through the gnarled, curled branches of the tree, which look very much like wizened fingers reaching down to ensnare Coraline. I love the juxtaposition of the moon in all its fertile fullness with the ancient, withered tree. The tree may somewhat occlude our view of the moon, but the moon also reveals the truth of the tree’s sinister intentions toward Coraline, the strength of its light in no way completely impeded by the leafless, twisted arboreal form.

One more thing about the moon: Notice the image overlay of the button. What on earth could a button have to do with this story? Nice bit of foreshadowing, which is repeated in the more obvious appearance of the button in Coraline’s name at the bottom of the poster.

Finally, notice how the strange slope of the land leaves you feeling askew and off-balance. Look at the precarious position of the house in the background, or how the sharp incline has helped raise the tree to such a high and foreboding level above Coraline. And how the cat glances back, front paw slightly raised, tail curled in a questioning hook. Coraline, however, does not glance backward. She is looking forward, focused on whatever it is that has brought her out on this dark night full of shadow and mystery.

At the very bottom of the poster design, we get the name of the movie, the book, and the heroine. Again, there’s the button as her “O” and the cat’s now exclamatory tail forms her “L.” We also see light shining through a doorway, another clue as to what transpires in this tale.

Have I read too much into this design? Probably. Too much arcane information floating around in this noodle of mine. Plus, I have the added advantage of having seen the movie twice and having now read the book. So I’m able to bring that to my interpretation of this design. Regardless, however, I have to say this is one of the best poster designs I have seen in a long time. I think it’s utterly brilliant and I wouldn’t mind adding it to my collection at all.

Ha ha! I’m mixing it up a little bit on you this wonderful Friday morning (or afternoon, depending on when I’m finally able to finish writing this). Today is a special Flashback, because it’s all about a movie from my childhood that holds an extra EXTRA special place in my heart as well as having a wonderful teaser poster affiliated with it.

I give you 1982′s horror movie classic, Poltergeist. This is the first modern horror movie that I can remember watching. I say “modern,” because before seeing this movie, I remember watching 1950s/60s-era horror and thriller movies—things like the Steve McQueen version of the The Blob or Vincent Price in House of Usher. They were adequate, but they were also dated and sufficiently edited for regular television (yes, I am from the generation that did not always have cable or satellite television; save your tears).

But this movie…this was completely different. True, I have seen scarier since, but the impact this movie made on me when I first saw it remains with me to this day. I believe I was either 7 or 8 years old when I first saw it, although the more I marinate on it, the more inclined I am to go with 8. I saw it with my parents during a weekend visit to my aunt’s house. Perhaps not the best idea for one so young and with a rapidly developing imagination. I know that I had nightmares that night, but luckily I didn’t remember them.

I do, however, remember the utter panic that overcame me as I walked my aunt’s dog through the very large, very empty, and very soggy backyard. With each step I took, all I kept imagining were decaying hands thrusting through the damp soil, grabbing at our feet as we headed back toward the house. To this day, I can still remember the tang of that fear, the immobilizing strength of it in my mind. I might have even broken out into a run for the house, but I can’t be certain. All I know is that this movie scared the ever-loving crud out of me…and I love it for that very reason.

If only Hollywood had seen fit to leave this movie as a stand-alone rather than sully it with increasingly inferior sequels. And, of course, there is a deeper sense of sadness for me now when I watch this movie, knowing that two from its ranks—two of its youngest stars—are no longer with us. Not long after its release, 22-year-old Dominique Dunne was killed by an ex-boyfriend. And in 1988, 12-year-old Heather O’Rourke died from a stomach blockage. She was one year older than me, and I remember feeling her passing with a sense of sadness and incomprehension that someone so young and so important to my world could be lost before life really even started for her. Strange where and how life lessons arise.

On a happier side note, Showtime came up with a rather interesting show premise that fed on the marketing potential of the Poltergeist legacy, by creating a series called, ironically enough, Poltergeist: The Legacy. It was an odd show with an even odder collection of characters and actors. It hung in there for four seasons before being released to the wilds of sci-fi/horror reruns. I loved this show. It was campy at times but also laced with a disturbing darkness that for some reason appeals to me a great deal. I was overjoyed when the first season finally appeared on DVD. Unfortunately, that was two years ago, and they’ve yet to release any of the other seasons. I’m forced to question the sanity of a universe in which one can purchase all five seasons of The Simple Life with Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie, but I can’t complete my Legacy collection.

As for the movie poster, this is again proof to support my love of the “less is more” approach. Simple black background, with one image…one image that is so indelibly and intrinsically a part of the very fabric of my generation: Little Carol Anne kneeling, her tiny hands pressed against the static-filled television screen. Can’t you hear it in your mind right now? The small, lyrical declaration that sings from her lips? “They’re he-ere.” Not the least bit of fear in her voice when she says it, but even thinking about the line now gives me shivers.

Of course, this tagline needed to be included in the poster. Tobe Hooper and Steven Spielberg both must have known that it would be a standout moment from this amazing movie. Then we get a simple sans serif font, black with a ghostly white outline, for the title, followed by the second tagline: “It knows what scares you.” Emphasis on “it,” please. Such a great poster treatment for a movie that remains in my top 10 favorite horror/thriller movies. I might even have to fire it up for another viewing tonight. Just have to stay alert and make sure the TV People don’t get me when I go to bed…

Ha! I bet you thought I’d forgotten about this series, didn’t you? Never fear, this wolf has the memory of an elephant. I also share a strange fear of mice and a constant craving for peanuts. My ears will not support any attempts at flight, though, so don’t get your hopes up.

Whathafu?

Okay, for this entry, we’re going to come forward in time to this 1996 pre-Lord of the Rings offering from awesome Kiwi director Peter Jackson.

This is one of my favorite “less is more” posters. It’s clean and simple and effectively eerie. You start out with a parchment-colored canvas and the movie’s tagline, “Dead Yet?,” which has the same straightforward punch that the similarly simple “got milk” ad campaign would later flaunt—only this one’s delightfully darker.

You move down to what’s obviously not a human skull pushing through the canvas: The eye sockets are wider and slope downward into a scowl, the smile is more pronounced and demonic, the features are more angular and sinister (nice little butt-chin dimple, though!). This is a great effect and one that horror movie fans might even recognize. Those horror geeks in the know will probably recognize this as similar to the effect in A Nightmare on Elm Street, when Freddy Krueger bulges out of the wall over a sleeping Nancy Thompson. Wes Craven’s special effects team took a sheet of white spandex and stretched it behind Heather Langenkamp and had Robert Englund slowly push forward in Freddy Krueger makeup (I believe Jim Doyle was the brain behind this trick, but I’m more than likely wrong). That’s the whole effect. No CGI. Just spandex, which is arguably already a horrific material anyway, so it blends right in on a horror movie set.

You then get the name of the movie, in a nice two-toned serif font, and that’s all she wrote for this one. I love how this is all the poster gives you: tagline, provocative image, movie title. You know it’s going to have horror elements from the skull, but the irreverence of the tagline hints at a humor element as well. Funny-scary is as awesome as sexy-ugly when done right, and Peter Jackson does just that with The Frighteners.

You’ll notice that this image is a bit blurry. I believe this might be a shot of the lenticular version of this poster that was released to some theaters (or it’s just a really bad scan and I’m making excuses again). Lenticular posters are the ones that when you walk past them, the image slowly morphs into another image…kind of like 3-D but not quite. The lenticular version of this poster showed a blank canvas that, as you passed by it, showed the demonic face slowly pushing through.

I’ve been on the losing end of a couple of bidding wars for the lenticular poster. As much as I love this version, my love is cheap. This poster is not. I might just break down and seek out the regular double-sided version. Either way, this is a great poster and a great movie that I think slipped under a lot of people’s radars. I also think that a lot of people had difficulty seeing Michael J. Fox play a less-than-perfect, somewhat anti-Marty McFly character. But he gives a great performance in this movie, you can see Jeffrey Combs before he played practically EVERY ALIEN in the Star Trek televised world, the special effects were pretty ace for 1996, and it’s got John Astin as an over-sexed ghoul (not that much different from his Gomez Addams days!). If you haven’t seen it yet and you’re a fan of quirky, semi-scary movies, I’d highly recommend you give it a watch!

Time again for another Loba-approved poster design! This time, we’re skipping backward in time to 1984, to visit that gem of a movie, Gremlins. Written by a very pre-Harry Potter Chris Columbus and directed by Joe “The ‘burbs” Dante, this is one of my favorite childhood movies. It’s also one of my favorite “teaser” posters.

First thing that I love about this poster is the fact that it’s not a photo, but a photo-realistic drawing/painting. This was quite the popular medium at the time (the Star Wars movie posters all utilized this medium to wonderful effect while Indiana Jones still looks marvelous as a sketched hero). It adds a bit of whimsy to the poster while keeping it realistic enough that you know it’s not going to be all fun and games.

The way the lighting is utilized in this drawing provides a lovely and effective bit of chiaroscuro that draws your eyes immediately to the hands and the shoe box within them. And what are those in the box top? Breathing holes? And those cute, furry little Monchhichi paws…and two glimmering orbs watching you. But nothing more. What on earth could it be?

This poster also has something additional that my first poster pick didn’t have: a tagline. This one is delightful: “Cute. Clever. Mischievous. Intelligent. Dangerous.”

I love the delineation of words from sweet to sinister that lead your eyes once again down to the shoe box and those mysterious eyes watching you, with what? Curiosity? Anger? Malice?

Skip the Spielberg mention and you get your first glimpse of the font that has pretty much become synonymous to my generation as “Gremlins” font, kind of like someone immediately recognizing “Star Trek” or “Back to the Future” font.

I consider this poster to be an early “WIN” poster in my movie-going memory. I remember seeing it as a kid and wanting to know just what the hell was in that friggin’ shoe box. I also remember having a Gremlins coloring book, which I wish I still had…but that’s another time and another place. Now, here is the latest Poster Pick:

Poster Pick Bonus: Gremlins vs. Episode I

I’m not quite sure when this Gremlins poster was released. I don’t think it was for the movie release, but just for the special edition DVD release. This is the image that is on my DVD case, and it’s a design that I really enjoy. It’s also a design that we have seen elsewhere, to similarly spectacular first-blush effect. We saw it with the first teaser poster for George Lucas’s prequel abortion, Episode I: The Phantom Menace.

Aesthetically, I love this concept: good guy casting a bad guy shadow. It’s titillating, it’s taunting, it’s teasing, it’s tasty. With Gremlins, it’s also totally awesome. Gizmo the Mogwai was cute and cuddly and only mildly annoying. Stripe the Gremlin was a surly bastard with punk rock hair and a bad-ass attitude.

It’s a shame the same cannot be said of Episode I. I remember the joy that this teaser poster brought me. It was mysterious and stark, with the presence of a cherished evil. Ain’t no baddy quite like Darth Vader, right? Then I saw the movie, and I learned what true disappointment really feels like.

Anakin Skywalker sucked. I don’t think the blame rests solely on the shoulders of Jake Lloyd, but he didn’t help make the torture that was this movie any less painful. Someone really should have smacked George Lucas with a fully functional light saber at the first utterance of the nickname “Annie” for Darth Vader. Annie? One day he’s going to be the fucking dark overlord of the empire and you want to give him a nickname that evokes images of a frizzy-haired orphan with no pupils? Screw you, Lucas. Screw you with a Jar-Jar Binks action figure.

Here, however, are the two shadowplay posters together. One still makes me smile while the other saddens me to my marrow with the memory of a New Hope that was crushed by “Mesa called Jar-Jar Binks. Mesa your humble servant.”

Mesa gonna pukes now.

Yes, because I do believe that it is my duty, as one possessing a degree in English, to bring a little more alliteration to your lives, I now bring you Poster Picks (to go along with Flashback Fridays and Gaming Glory).

I love clever posters. I think clever poster designs, however, are slowly dying under the weight of the generic “insert giant photo of star here; add movie/music/theater/television show name here; done” design. Perfect example: Look up the posters for the new Star Trek movie. Those are some of the most boring posters I have ever seen. Head shots of the actors. Wow. I hope the posters aren’t a true reflection of what we’re in for with the new movie. If they are, I better take a pillow.

Posters are supposed to be one of the marketing tools used to draw you in and make you want to see or hear whatever they’re advertising. A giant head shot of Chris Pine with trout pout is not a successful marketing tool. So this is why, every now and again, I’m going to submit to you all a poster that I think truly does justice to mad design skillz.

First submission: The artwork for the 2007 revival of the play Equus. This was Daniel Radcliffe’s chance to prove that he can do more than play with his wand. Er, kind of. I mentioned this poster in my last blog, but I adore this poster so much that it was the first that came to mind when I started thinking about starting this new segment. I don’t own this poster (later segments may focus on some of the pieces that I have purchased), but it is stunning.

I know that other posters from the series focused solely on photos of Radcliffe in various stages of undress, sometimes with a horse and sometimes with a female model…but this is by far the most provocative. It takes the standard celebrity shot and turns it into something hideously alluring. I love, for instance, how the shadows of Radcliffe’s arms become the horse’s ears, and the other bits of alignment between Radcliffe and the horse head that combine into some great PhotoShop morph work. Throw in a Christ-like pose and a horse snout where his groin should be, and you’ve got one hell of a disturbing piece of design work there.

And you know what? It did what it was supposed to do. Had I been in London at the time that this was on the West End (or in NYC when it hit Broadway), I absolutely would have gone to see this. Admittedly, it would have taken quite a bit of mental prep work to get beyond the fact that I would be viewing a former child actor showing me precisely what’s going on under his Hogwarts robes. But I think it would have been possible.

Anyway, I leave you with this amazing poster. Bask in its disturbingly beautiful glory.