L o b a B l a n c a {dot} c o m

Opening line from this article that has set me on my latest rant:

Virginia drivers will face new restrictions today, when hundreds of laws take effect, including a ban on sending or reading text messages and e-mails.

This is why I hate people. Not cell phones. People. Stupid people who think it’s a good idea to compose an e-mail while roaring down the road at 80+, more often than not in some ginormous vehicle that could house the entire Lilliputian population in just the glove compartment.

Several times now I’ve nearly been unwillingly shuffled out of my mortal coil by these offenses to common sense…these mutated beings with cell phone-shaped tumors that connect one hand to the side of their head and cause the other to flail around emphatically. This, of course, means that—unless they are spectacularly well-endowed—they’re not really steering their land boats.

I would surmise that the latter is true for two reasons: 1) scientific reports have proven there is indeed an inverse relationship between genitalia size and automobile size; and 2) if they were actually steering with something, they wouldn’t be drifting into my lane like the roadkill nutsack that they are.

Anyway. Seriously, this should have been a “der” moment, not something that needed to be legally restricted. If you’re behind the wheel of a car, you really don’t need to be tapping away on a keyboard. Which brings me to my solution: Every cell phone needs to come with a tamper-proof speed-sensitive lock. If the sensor detects movement above a normal walking pace, it deactivates phone, text, and Internet features. No ifs, ands, or buts.

Is this fair to those who can multi-task? First off, most people who believe they can multi-task are just people with severe ADD who start several different things at once and never finish any of them…most often because in the end they’re distracted by texting with their BFF. People who actually can multi-task understand that it’s not for every situation. Top of the list of inappropriate places should be behind the wheel of a freakin’ car.

Is this fair to non-drivers in a car? No. But we obviously are too childish in our intellectual development to understand that just because the passenger can e-mail while you’re driving, that doesn’t mean that you should be able to do the same. So, just like bedraggled parents who are sick and tired of dealing with whiny children, we’re going to have to go with the “If one of you can’t play nicely, then none of you can play” response.

I figure it’s either this or allowing Darwinian survival of the fittest take over. And while I’m all for tidying up the gene pool a bit, I’d rather not find myself in future Russian roulette situations in which I’m staring down the gold-plated trim of a Cadillac Escalade being driven by Blabby McDumbass.

No, I don't think you know what I want for Father's Day this year...

So maybe you didn’t hear that South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford went a little AWOL for a while. He just ambled away one day and didn’t tell anyone where he was going. He kind of mentioned that he was thinking about hiking the Appalachian Trail, so his staffers assumed that this was what he was doing. They even sent out a press release indicating that this was indeed where he was.

SIKE. Just playing. He was really in Argentina. Schtooping his mistress.

That’s right, you’ve read correctly: GOP Governor Mark Sanford— devoted GOP politician, loving husband, and father of four—abandoned his gubernatorial and familial duties without telling anyone where he was going so that he could bounce his mistress in Argentina ON FATHER’S DAY WEEKEND.

Sanford was another rising star that the GOP were hoping would have presidential potential. You know, along with Senator John Ensign. I told you all about Ensign, right? Yeah.

I love the GOP. They’re so delightfully and offensively hypocritical.

I can only imagine what the instigating text must look like: “shO me w@ uv got! b00b pix plz!!1!”

And what do the recipients of such a text do? Take the requested shots with their mobile phones and text them, or as I’ve learned through this article, “sext” them back, of course! I’m still not sure, though, when the common sense factor comes into play in this equation.

Look, we’ve all had lapses in judgment, and sometimes a camera is involved. Bourbon Street was home to some incredibly poor moments in Loba judgment and, yes, photo evidence does exist of said judgment lapses. Some involve test tube shooters and others involve a fellow reveler dressed as Hong Kong Phooey. I’m not telling you about any of the others.

Why tell you this at all? I suppose to acknowledge that everyone does stupid things (even your friendly neighborhood white wolf) that sometimes involve cameras that record moments you might not even remember until you’ve sobered up and seen the proof.

However, these cases involve not even one drop of booze. The only thing that seems to be incapacitating these teens is the combined absence of common sense and inhibition. And this particular cocktail is landing them in a whole shitload of trouble, including some who have landed on their state’s list of registered sex offenders. That is a stain that will follow you for the rest of your life.

What’s most disturbing about this article is the fact that detectives are finding evidence of sexting going on in elementary schools. The oldest you can be in elementary school, barring that you haven’t failed any grades, is 13.

I guess this is comparable to when I was a teen and the Internet was rapidly becoming the focus of our lives. We became the first truly plugged-in generation, doing things online that our parents had only considered possible in sci-fi books and shows. So they didn’t really know how to protect us from what was going on in that brave new world.

That’s only a partial excuse, though because, just like then, this latest trend in stupidity can fall into the “Just because you can doesn’t mean you should” file. Also, anyone who has grown up in this time of instant access knows that once you put it out there, there’s no way of getting it back, and it spreads with the destructive swiftness of a California brush fire. Some are even driven to suicide because of the fallout.

So, really, if you get a sext asking you “show us your bits!”? Don’t. It’s just that easy. Oh, and those Bourbon Street photos? I’ve got ‘em. And, no, you can’t see them.

During my commute this morning, I heard about a report released by The Education Trust that states that, if current trends continue, one in four students currently in high school here in the States will drop out before graduating.

So much for No Child Left Behind.

Even more disturbing was the very next report, which announced that state budgets around the country are in such dire trouble that tuition rates for many public colleges and universities are slated to skyrocket. Some states are even considering mid-semester tuition hikes to cover their shortfalls.

Begs the question then: Why is it so important for high school students to actually graduate when they will more than likely not be able to afford a college degree, which in today’s society has become what a high school diploma was to my parents’ generation?

Sorry, but I am particularly surly when it comes to this topic. I find it abhorrent that we are such a global failure when it comes to educating our children. And the failure is so multi-tiered that it’s going to take a lot of work for us to ever come close to improving things.

First, teachers are horrifically underpaid, under-appreciated, and in some places, under-protected. I had a friend who left her contractor job to become a teacher at a school here in D.C. She left after less than a year because she had a breakdown after being subjected to verbal and physical abuse from her students. Oh, did I mention that her students were 6 years old?

That leads to number two: Parents are severely failing when it comes to raising children who understand that you don’t bite and spit at your teacher. Or attack them with a baseball bat, which is what a high school student here in Maryland did a few years ago.

It doesn’t take long for qualified teachers to realize that they are in for a world of abuse for a pitiful paycheck. So schools are very often left scrambling to find people with bare minimum qualifications (Are you a warm body? You’re hired!) to teach students filled with such utter apathy and contempt as to be uncontrollable. They also wield undeserved power over teachers. Many teachers are terrified of taking any kind of punitive action toward unruly students out of fear that they will be accused of some horrible misdeed. I’ve known teachers who refused to speak with a student in private without either having another teacher present as a witness or leaving the door to the classroom wide open.

Next there is the still unchanged truth that school is “danger and disease wrapped in darkness and silence.” Okay, so maybe that’s space according to Dr. McCoy, but I think it can be applied to many schools. Ten years after Columbine and I question what, if anything we have learned from the actions of those two shooters. True, school officials now take threats more seriously, but have they also taken seriously the scarring effects that perpetual bullying can have on the psyche and the soul? Especially on kids who obviously have very little parental supervision and interaction. I mean, come on, these two boys were stockpiling Terminator amounts of guns and ammo, trying to build bombs in their rooms…and their parents were completely clueless.

(I’ve said much more in my last blog about Columbine, and I will be posting a link to that blog very soon. I promise.)

So you’ve got terrified and sometimes under-qualified teachers dealing with unruly students who often lack any form of structure or discipline from their parents, interacting in an often bully-infested school culture. Is it any wonder students are dropping out at an alarming rate?

Of course, this is not the environment at all schools. But it is a recipe for disaster that I think is playing out in way too many cities throughout this country and that cannot be ignored any longer. Improved testing is not going to solve this problem. Government intervention isn’t going to solve it either (unless the Obama administration has some clever trick up their sleeve that is going to retrain parents in how to raise even moderately behaved children).

I truly believe that the change does need to start in the home. Parents need to become more involved in their children’s lives. Ask them about their day, teach them not to disrespect others, join them while watching television or playing a game, engage them in conversation. And if you just can’t be bothered with all that, then don’t have any kids. If you raise them correctly from the very beginning, 9 times out of 10, I’m willing to bet they’ll be a far better little person for it.

And then you send them off to school, where they don’t abuse their teachers or their peers. And then, just maybe, teachers will stop being afraid and will start returning to the schools. You know what, though? Start paying them better! Screw the millions thrown at athletes. If these undeserving demigods are really playing the sport because of their love of the game, switch their annual income down to match the median income of the state for which their team plays. We’ll see just how deep that “love” really runs. And send that extra money into the communities where it will actually do some good, including keeping college tuitions down low enough so that everyone can afford the opportunity to a higher education, not just the rich.

I know, I know – I’m dreaming on all these fronts. I just find it so freaking frustrating every time I hear statistics like I did this morning. We should be doing better by our country’s children than this. We need to do better. But what do we do? And is it too late for the current generations? Or has the damage already been done?

Due to the piss-poor economic state of affairs as of late, many people are choosing to tighten their belts when it comes to monthly expenditures, even if they happen to fall in the “Well Off” category. As noted in this WaPo article:

Economists say many still-flush consumers are handcuffed by psychological traps that cause them to tighten their purse strings even though economic hardship is not their reality. Underscoring the crucial role that consumer psychology will play in turning around the economy, President Obama and Federal Reserve Chairman Ben S. Bernanke have both been on the hustings this week sounding notes of optimism.

The most troubling things about this quote are: a) the fact that fiscal responsibility is being labeled a “psychological trap”; and b) the fact that the Obama administration is trying to paint a happy face on this situation as a way of encouraging people to spend more.

Does no one find it horrifying that the fate of the American economy apparently rests on the shoulders of consumers and how much Chinese-made crap we’re willing to buy? Is our economic salvation really contingent upon people like me finally breaking down and buying a plasma television? Because if it is, we’re in bad shape. I’m a cheap mofo. You know the old saying: “Live simply that others might simply live.” I believe it’s more than just something to read off a bumper sticker. I think it should be part of our overall belief system.

Yes, I own way more DVDs than I really need. I have five bookshelves full of reading material. I love my Xbox 360. I’m not going to lie and act like I don’t indulge myself now and again. But the indulgences are few and not what you’d expect. My DVDs and video games? Many of them come from used CD/DVD stores or Amazon Marketplace (the greatest online service on earth, if you ask me). Marketplace is also from where most of my book purchases come. No shame in proving that “one man’s junk is another geek’s treasure.” I come nowhere near spending $100 a day (of course, I’m also not “upper-income,” so I guess I’m okay there). If I do spend a significant amount of money, it’s either because I couldn’t find a better deal, or it’s for someone else.

I’m just really displeased with the idea that we are being expected to spend more in order to fix our economy. If that’s the case, then this country needs to start giving us better merchandise. I’m sick and tired of shoddily made merchandise that breaks soon after I purchase it. You want me to spend more money? Give me better quality. Oh, and here’s an idea: Maybe you could give me that better quality actually built here in America. I get that this is supposed to be a global economy, but that doesn’t mean that we have to completely gut a whole subset of our own economy. How many thousands of former industry workers would love to be able to work again? Call me crazy, but bringing some of these jobs back to our own shores might do more to boost our economy than buying a pile of Chinese-made plastic crap from Wal-mart ever would.