I make no secret of the fact that I hate dolls. I think they’re creepy as sin. Only nowhere near as fun.

When I was little, relatives insisted on buying me dolls for Christmas…you know, because I’m a girl. And girls are supposed to want to play with dolls. It’s good training for when we grow up and have real babies.

…

The road to hell is paved with good intentions. The road to my personal hell is paved with creepy plastic baby effigies. Like Baby Laugh-A-Lot. At least, I thought that was the name of this particular doll from my past. She was creepy and blonde and when you squeezed her, she giggled uncontrollably for about a minute and then sighed, “I wuv you.”

Yeah, I bet you do, Baby I’m-Gonna-Snap-Your-Neck-While-You-Sleep.

However, when I looked up “Baby Laugh-A-Lot” on YouTube…I came across this:

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FtnESCiZRnw&w=640&h=480]

Sweet Baby Meat Jesus, this is even creepier than the doll I had! Who the hell would buy this for anyone, let alone someone they supposedly cared about? This doll is one step away from being a Twilight Zone episode.

Now if you’ll excuse me…I’ve got a corner I need to go rock quietly in…