Poor Cellular. There it sat on my shelf, so quietly minding its own business that I might have looked right past it on my search for purge-worthy DVDs. But it had the misfortune of being neighbors with my last DVDregs review, The Cell. So I started trying to remember how this movie found its way into my collection and realized that it was an impulse buy from the days when Netflix sold previously viewed DVDs (I’m still pissed that they stopped doing that). I shelled out $5 to buy this after renting it and liking it. Then I never watched it again. I tend to do that a lot.
So, Cellular. There’s something amusingly serendipitous (to me, at least) about the fact that this movie not only comes from New Line Cinema (“The House That Freddy Built”) like The Cell, but also includes an advertisement inside the case for…The Cell. So far, two bad omens, considering the fact that my copy of The Cell is now sitting in a donation box.
Quick rundown of the premise: Groovy surfer dude Ryan gets a weird call on his cell phone. It’s a woman named Jessica Martin, claiming to have been kidnapped that morning. She doesn’t know why. She doesn’t know where she is. She’s just a high school biology teacher who randomly connected to Ryan’s cell phone while tinkering with a conveniently still semi-working even though it’s been smashed landline phone, and she needs his help to get free. Strangely enough, he agrees and gets involved. Hilarity thus ensues.
I know it’s a silly sounding premise. I even remember thinking that as I was clicking to rent it from Netflix. Somehow, though, it works. First, we have a great script. Yes, I said great. Not like Godfather great or American Beauty great. This isn’t a deep movie. I mean it features a biology teacher who wears fishnet stockings, for crying out loud. But if you’re looking for a fun action flick, this is what you’re looking for. Writers Larry Cohen (who apparently really loves phones since he also wrote 2002’s Phone Booth) and Chris Morgan have hammered out a fast-paced, full-speed-ahead action script that, in the hands of former-stuntdude-turned-director David Ellis, never drags, never wanders, never bores. The entire movie is about one thing: saving Jessica Martin (well, okay, there are some other things going on here as well…but saving Jessica is the most important thing). And you are on-board from the first ring right down to the final low battery beep.
Next, let’s talk cast. Kim Basinger, William H. Macy, Jason Statham, Chris Evans, Jessica Biel, Richard Burgi (The Sentinel!), Noah Emmerich…quite a great cast, actually. All of them perfectly paired to their roles. I can’t think of a single miscast. Evans was enjoyable as Ryan of the eponymous Cellular phone. Most people probably know him better as Johnny Storm from the Fantastic Four movies (and he’s now causing nerdgasms for fanboys everywhere by being cast as the new Captain America). I like him here, though, playing goofy and earnest very well.
Basinger was a major key to this movie’s success. After all, at the end of the day (and the movie) it’s all about trying to save Jessica Martin (der!). Basinger brings a certain gravitas that you don’t necessarily expect in an action film but really appreciate when you find it. Kind of like Alan Rickman in Die Hard. She makes Jessica Martin immediately likable and believable enough that you even forgive the fishnets after a while (no, I’m not kidding about this; she’s really wearing fishnets).
Then there’s William H. Macy. Oh wow, do I adore him. He’s awesome in a can, that one. And in this movie, as the predictably days-away-from-retirement, “I’m too old for this shit” police officer who becomes another key to the mission, he proves that you can bring teh awesome to even trite and predictable.
Round out the big hitters with a big roundhouse kick from Jason Statham, another delightful actor who is always a joy to watch. Even when he’s in less-than-spectacular movies, he’s still great to watch. And he’s wonderful here as a proper baddie. The scenes he shares with Basinger are incredible in their intensity and really help to ratchet up the tension and drag us even deeper into believing that…all together now…we’ve got to save Jessica Martin! Oh, and her family, too. But, really, Jessica.
DVD Special Features: Of course there’s a commentary track. That seems to be de rigueur for DVDs these days. This one features director Ellis; his daughter, assistant producer Tawny Ellis; and his sister, assistant stunt coordinator Annie Ellis (who, by the way, has an amazing stunt resume). However, what makes this commentary a little different (in a cutesy, kitschy kind of way) is that Ellis takes breaks from talking about the movie to call various people from the crew…on their cell phones. See? Cutesy/kitschy.
Throughout the movie he calls people like New Line Cinema’s founder Bob Shaye, Chris Evans, producer Lauren Lloyd, composer John Ottman, stunt coordinator Freddie Hice, and a couple other people whose names now elude me (I would have taken notes, but I was exercising at the time!). Sometimes, the cute factor became a bit annoying, especially when Ellis decided to call someone during a scene in the movie that I would have liked to have heard him talk about. All in all, though, I’d rate this a worthwhile commentary track, filled with lots of interesting tidbits about the movie, the actors, and the crew.
Of course, there are also the obligatory deleted scenes, complete with optional director commentary. I’ve yet to see a deleted scene that didn’t deserve its deleted status. Nothing really special in this batch either, and that includes the alternate ending between Evans’s character and Biel’s character. Yawn. I’m glad they switched to the ending that’s now there.
Finally, there are three featurettes: the hilariously outdated “Dialing Up Cellular,” which is all about cell phone technology back in 2004 (probably was outdated before it was even finished filming); “Celling Out,” the obligatory sunshine-pumping love-fest in which the actors and crew all talk about how wonderful they are and how great their movie is (they get a pass this time because they’re right); and “Code of Silence,” an interesting and surprisingly serious documentary on a 1999 police corruption scandal in LAPD’s Rampart Division, which apparently inspired some of the movie’s plot.
Final Verdict: Yeah, obviously this one’s a keeper. I’m actually quite surprised that I haven’t watched this one more. It’s fluffy fun for a Saturday afternoon, with ample pathos, nicely paced action, and random moments of funny…plus William H. Macy for the win. Oh, and also? It features Nina Simone’s “Sinner Man” in a great way. How do you not love a movie that gives Simone some love?
