Please Close All Programs and Reboot

So I may have forgotten to mention that I was taking a vacation. I think I may have mentioned it to a few of my ImagiFriendsTM, but other than that, it completely slipped my mind to hang a “Be Back Soon” sign on the lair’s door. Sorry about that. But I was in desperate need of a reboot. Actually, to be more precise, I was in need of a complete system shutdown and a cold boot several days later. I was tired, denizens. No. I was weary. It’s been a hectic, frenetic end of the summer, and while my birthday journey to Toronto was teh awesome, it also served to tempt me with the taste of nuts and honey in regard to a proper, long vacation.

So Sammy was packed to capacity and away we went for a week at the beach. I learned several very important lessons while on this magical mystery tour of an undisclosed beach destination, and I would now like to share these lessons with you!

  1. Not even weather like this almost every day can ruin a beach vacation.
  2. cloudybeach

  3. Why? Because of my own personal mantra: A bad day at the beach is better than a good day at the office.
  4. Also, when you come properly equipped, weather is incidental:
  5. boxobooks

  6. This box of books combined with oodles of free time also allowed me to get back on track in regard to my 50BC09 journey. How so? I read nearly six books while at the beach. I’ll be posting reviews over the next few days. True, none of them were Proust or Balzac, but they were all enjoyable and more than appropriate reading fodder for the location.
  7. As long as you keep moving, the calories consumed at the beach don’t count. That’s why it’s possible to have frozen custard for lunch…just keep walking along the boardwalk and you’ll be fine (I say this now, but you know come Monday afternoon, it’s back to my workout routine with Captain Janeway and her crew).
  8. There are 3,873 T-shirt and tchotchke shops at the beach. It won’t be until you go into the 3,872nd shop that you will finally find that perfect hoodie in just the right shade of blue that you’d almost given up trying to find (the last shop just smells of dead hermit crabs and incense sticks, so everyone avoids this shop).
  9. Rum tastes better at the beach. I guess this is why pirates prefer it. Actually, everything tastes better at the beach. Must be the sea salt.
  10. BlackBerry screens are too effing small. But maybe that’s the point. After futzing around for about 10 minutes, scrolling back and forth to read things on that impossibly small screen, I would just give up and go back to my reading…or napping…or eating. Those were the important tasks anyway. Life’s too short and the beach is too tempting to be sat, squinting at a BlackBerry. Although…
  11. …I was inspired to come up with a new device that I think would be awesome: It’s a combination of a Kindle and a BlackBerry. Think about it for a moment. You’d have a portable device with a screen the size of the current Kindle, with Internet capability. The current Kindle is almost there anyway. It’s got 3G wireless so that you can download books. Just bump its capabilities to be more surf-worthy. That way you can switch from your current beach read over to your e-mail and back, lickety-split, and not kill your eyes or your scrolly finger. Tell me that doesn’t sound groovy? It’d be the realization of the Personal Access Display Device that I have always wanted to have!
  12. When I am released on Funland, I tap into the memory of all the warrior princesses to have come before me and I discover that, indeed, I have many skills. And most of them involve tapping into my anger management issues through a padded mallet wielded at unsuspecting fiberglass moles:


    Behold my spoils:

  13. winnings

Okay, I think 10 lessons is more than enough, right? Anyway, I hope that’s enough to make up for the fact that I did sort of disappear on you without much warning. I promise I won’t do that again any time soon. Okay? Now let me start working on these book reviews. I’ll probably get at least one finished today. I hope. I might need a nap after that though. Because going to the beach is so very strenuous… 😉