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A “field guide to the British”? Never mind that it does make one imagine that the British are some kind of endangered species to be observed from a respectable distance, I must say that Sarah Lyall’s The Anglo Files: A Field Guide to the British was an entertaining and informative read.
Ms. Lyall is the stereotypical “Yankee in Queen Elizabeth’s Court,” a displaced American trying to make her way among our more refined but strangely similar cousins. The focus of her narrative is somewhat limited to the more commonly known “British” topics that we fail to understand here in the “practice colonies” but still find titillating: the royals, the tabloids, the food, the “stiff upper lip” mentality, cricket (the game, not the insect, you git), the politics of Parliament…and, yes, the teeth.
As the wife of an Englishman and the mother of two daughters split between the two worlds, Ms. Lyall can lay claim to a deeper understanding than most armchair Anglophiles (myself included). I do believe that she succeeds at helping her American compatriots understand a bit better what takes place on the other side of the pond, and the why of it all. Whether or not she got the why of it all as accurate as she should have is another question. If there are any British visitors to the lair who have read this book and would like to make any corrections, please click the link to my e-mail address, provided in the column to your right. I would very much enjoy hearing from you.
Final score: 4/5. All in all a thoroughly enjoyable read that provided this Anglophile with a deeper view of British life than I could ever glean from my quick hops to the Big Smoke. It has definitely earned its place on my bookshelf.
Now on to Alice Sebold’s The Almost Moon. I’m a bit worried as I have read nothing but negative reviews of this book. Are they based on the fact that nothing short of something dictated by God him/her/itself could thrive in the shadow of greatness cast by The Lovely Bones? Or is the criticism warranted?
What bothers me the most about these accusations is this:
Moran this week unveiled radio advertisements in the heavily African American communities of Hampton Roads and Richmond reminding voters of Clinton’s “3 a.m. phone call” ad that questioned Obama’s qualifications for the presidency.
By unveiling these ads in “heavily African American communities,” I can’t help but extrapolate a sinister unspoken accusation from Moran’s camp. It’s the same sinister accusation that WaPo op-ediot Eugene Robinson made when he wrote: “I know there’s a possibility that [W]hite Americans, when push comes to shove, won’t be able to bring themselves to elect a [B]lack man as president of the United States.”
Two different approaches, one seemingly similar message: If you’re White and you didn’t support Obama, it’s obviously because you’re racist and didn’t want to vote for a Black man.
Am I reading too much into this to think that Moran is trying to paint McAuliffe as racist because he chose to support HRC for president rather than Obama? As someone who glutted themselves to the point of political apathy on everything that pertained to the 2008 presidential race
You know what ol’ Jack Burton always says about days like this.
No, that’s not it either.
Today stunk.
There! That’s what I was going for!
Yeah, so today really bit fuzzy puppies. I had a total crap day at work, to go along with a depressing string of crap days that really can’t be avoided and are, in fact, slated to come to an end very soon. But for the time being, utter crap. Then I came home to rejoin my regularly scheduled battle to their death with my seasonal foe, the house centipede. The little fuckers are already sprouting up in baby form. I greatly prefer the baby to the fully grown centipede, but they still freak the bejesus out of me. (Warning, if you are easily creeped out by bugs, you might not want to look at this picture; hell, even if you aren’t easily creeped out, you still might not want to look…I sure as hell wish I didn’t have to ever see another of these things again). I also discovered a few minutes ago that I bungled a file that I really didn’t need to bungle.
Crap.
But you know what made me feel better? Turning myself into a superhero. Yes, that’s right, thanks to the utter Canadian genius of my good friend, weathereye, I discovered the unmatchable joy of HeroMachine.com. Using Version 2.5, I made the following two images: One of me as my alter ego, LobaBlanca, with white wolf sidekick; and one of me in a DS9-era medical duty uniform, with white wolf sidekick (what? I’d totally have a wolf with me if I was a Starfleet officer).
Before you ask, I don’t know why I added a gun to my superhero version since I apparently can throw white-hot fireballs. i just thought it looked cool. And I wish I could have been holding a tricorder or a hypospray in the second picture, but I made do with what they had available. Anyway, these have sufficed to make my day a shred better than it’s been since I woke up. Hopefully, tomorrow will be even slightly better. And hopefully, by next week, everything will be right as rain.
Okay, so Victoria was Queen of England for quite a bit more than just a day. However, in honor of Canada’s Victoria Day celebrations today, I’d like to direct you to one of my favorite comic strips, New Adventures of Queen Victoria. This strip, as “drawn” by Pab Sungenis, is more of a celebration of all things PhotoShop combined with a wicked sense of humor…er, humour.
Even better, today’s strip marks the beginning of a storyline that will focus on the new Star Trek movie. I warn you now, though…after skimming Pab’s blog, I do believe that he is planning on skewering the new movie quite a bit (although probably not as deeply as he skins it on his blog). Seems Mr. Sungenis did not care much for J.J. Abrams’ reboot of the Trek universe.
Debbie Gibson. Now there’s a linchpin name from my adolescence. Had all her tapes. Wanted a fedora like she wore in her Electric Youth days. Loved her. Don’t care that it lost me metal street cred.
Deborah Gibson. Playboy pictures, Beauty and the Beast, “Don’t call me Debbie”…and now this. This glorious trailer. It’s not a joke, but an actual straight-to-DVD movie called Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus. I guess it’s supposed to be cashing in on the success of the Alien vs. Predator franchise? Whatever it is, it’s kept me laughing all morning. I don’t even really have anything else to say about it. I just hope it makes someone else out there laugh as much as I have.
As someone who has formed several unique and cherished friendships with some of Canada’s loveliest representatives, it saddens me today to have to tell you all that not all that comes from the Great White North is wonderful. I offer as my only exhibit (and perhaps the only exhibit I will need): Orbitz.
Long before it became synonymous with online travel planning, Orbitz was a truly heinous “texturally enhanced” drink idea introduced to North America by Vancouver’s Clearly Canadian beverage company. What does “texturally enhanced” mean? It means that there were chewy little bits of flavor-freaky gel balls suspended in clear liquid that was only a shade or two less syrupy than drinking Karo syrup.
Yes, I do believe that Orbitz was the only drink in history with balls. You’d have to have balls to put this out as a serious idea. And, yes, the bottles pictured are from my very own collection. Sadly, I am such a hoarder that I saved unopened bottles of this stuff. I made a special trip, in fact, to buy these bottles after drinking half a bottle of the vanilla orange flavor (seen on the far left of this photo). Why? Because A) I knew immediately that this drink was not going to make it beyond a hopefully very-short-lived novelty period; and B) I doubted it would ever make it up to the D.C. area. These were purchased in the great taste-testing hot bed of North Carolina. And, no, I never did see them in my neck of the woods.
And for the record, not only did I endure a half bottle of the liquid, I also consumed quite a few of the gel spheres. Yes, I swallowed. I even chewed, which turned out to be a not so great idea. The spheres had the taste and consistency of chewing on a vitamin C-flavored phlegm ball. I will say this though: Orbitz was one of the first products that I can remember tapping into the marketing potential of the Internet. Check the silver lids: They’re imprinted with the drink’s Web site, the now usurped www.orbitz.com.
True, this isn’t that far of a flashback today: I found Orbitz in July of 1997, not long after it was introduced to the American market. I never saw it again after that crazy, syrupy summer. But I’m proud to say that I have tangible evidence that even Canadians make bad decisions every now and again. We could learn a lesson from them, however, in how to let go of a bad idea before it gets out of hand. Too bad “W” wasn’t a Canadian product…
How, you might be wondering, can one deliver “happy”? Allow me to show you:
Yes, my friends, that would be all seven seasons of Star Trek: Voyager, still in their sealed DVD boxes. Delivered right to my door. That is how you deliver happy. And who made this wonderful delivery? The U.S. Postal Service! They paid for my education and now they bring me packages full of happy.
And why am I so surprised that they are all still wrapped? Because this is another one of my famous “used” purchases. I told you before that I’m cheap. So when I found this set for an AMAZING price, I went ahead and purchased it, fully expecting it to be a used set from someone’s collection, with some shelf wear on the packaging. Yet again, one of these sellers has blown me away by sending me a brand new product.
I think the USPS should consider changing their tagline from “Neither snow nor sleet nor blah-blah-whatever” to “USPS: Delivering Happy Straight to Your Door.”
Deep in that dusty corner of my mental filing system, where childhood memories are shuffled off to be archived by those few working brain cells I haven’t saturated with Captain Morgan, there resides a special place for today’s selection: Wolfenstein 3D.
This was not only the first FPS that I ever played, but it was my first PC game as well (not counting my Texas Instrument days). I remember well the 5-1/4-inch floppy that contained the shareware version of the first episode (or was it freeware?). I never played more than this episode, so I never got to take on Hitler himself. But the first episode was satisfying enough, especially when playing in “Death Incarnate” mode. This was also probably the only FPS I ever played without the aid of any cheat codes. Guess that’s why it took me so long (damn the Internet for not being there for me when I needed it!).
I distinctly remember the terror of leading our hero,
Okay, so if you’re not familiar with the YouTube greatness that is Liam Kyle Sullivan, then consider this to be your introduction. And while the muffins sketch is one of my favorites, he’s probably more well known on the Interwebs for his character, “Kelly” with her incurable addiction to “Shoes” and her tirade against “Text Message Breakups.”
I warn you now, these last two links are NSFW, so if you listen to them around coworkers, have your earbuds handy. Actually, most of Liam’s stuff is NSFW, a fact that is accentuated by the Margaret Cho seal of approval (she appears in several of the “Kelly” pieces).
If you enjoy what you see, check out Liam’s YouTube user section, where you can see more of his creations as well as more of the lovely Vampiress Heather from “Text Message Breakup” in her own series of vlogs.
Oh, and just for fun, here’s another work-safe video, to whet your appetite.
Whoever said that you can’t go home again, I’m here to say bollocks! You most certainly can go home again. I do it all the time! Okay, maybe not all the time. I’m sure my mother would argue that I don’t do it quite often enough (of course, if she had her way, I would still be living with my parents, thus fulfilling the ultimate nerd stereotype).
Beer me up, Scotty
I departed from the safety of the lair bright and early Friday morning, and remained off the Interwebs grid for most of the weekend. It was a delightful break, as it always is. My parental units still reside in their undisclosed North Carolina location, so I got to go Southern for the weekend, which is always a treat. First stop, of course, was the nearest Sonic, to satiate my Cherry Vanilla Dr. Pepper lust. Also, while down there, I replenished my supply of Cheerwine as well as sought out another six-pack of the official beer of the lair, White Wolf Golden Ale. I tend to enjoy the darker, richer side of the beer spectrum, but this is actually a pretty tasty ale (which was a great surprise, considering the fact that I only originally bought a bottle because of the obvious attraction to the name).
Oh, rewinding a little: Cheerwine is one of the staples of my childhood memories of summer vacation. That and Sundrop were the two drinks that we always brought back with us from visiting my grandparents. Not necessarily because they’re unique (Cheerwine is a cherry soft drink and Sundrop is a less syrupy Mountain Dew), but just because we couldn’t get them here in the Old Line State. Still can’t (although I found a store near my office that sold Cheerwine for a while).
I remember the summer when we couldn’t find Cheerwine. It was the second most traumatic summer vacation of my youth, surpassed only by the summer I was bitten by a dog. Yes, I love Cheerwine that much. It wasn’t until years later that I realized why we couldn’t find Cheerwine. Remember the red dye cancer scare in the 80s? Cheerwine was colored with that dye, just like the red M&Ms. Thankfully, Cheerwine wasn’t gone from our lives as long as the red M&Ms were.
Mr. Data, report!
For those of you who found your way back to the lair from my Angry BloggerTM days, you’ll be happy to know that my lovely Doodle-Cat, Mr. Data, is still chugging along. He’ll be 17 years old sometime in June. He looks a bit more bedraggled than he once did in his glorious fluffy kitty days, but I love him to death. He’s my sweet little gutter rescue. He’s a lot surlier than he was, but that’s allowed since he is now officially an old man. He just wants to be left to sleep on a comfy chair positioned in the afternoon sunlight and to be tolerated when he bites your elbow when he wants you to feed him or turn on the faucet in the kitchen sink. Nothing unreasonable, right?
This was also the trip that I finally decided to sort through all the boxes and bags that my parents transported with them from my old room when they moved. I had originally packed everything up in a hasty, half-assed sort of way, promising that I would go through everything once they were settled in their new place. This was almost five years ago. There was a lovely patina of attic dust all over everything (as well as the slightly mummified remains of a field mouse hidden beneath the piles of trash bags…eek!).
I was honestly surprised at how much fun I had going through my old stuff. I didn’t keep a whole lot from my adolescence, but I kept a lot more than I remembered. And, of course, the bulk of what I kept was delightfully geeky. I took plenty of photos, which I suspect will make excellent submissions for future “Flashback Friday” entries.
I also found two remnants from my high school days that I had completely forgotten I’d saved: my varsity jacket and my graduation cap and gown, complete with my National Honor Society collar (which still looks to me like one of those toilet seat sanitary rings you find in public restrooms). Yes, I was a geek/jock hybrid. Of course, at a school as small as the one from which I graduated, everyone sort of had to chip in and wear a multitude of different hats just to keep the ship from sinking (as if that would have been a terrible thing).
geek. jock. queen. docs.
Strangely, I couldn’t find either my homecoming queen tiara or my senior yearbook. I must have them stored somewhere here in the lair. Where, though, I’m not quite certain…”Just hang a right at the Gates McFadden hypospray shrine, go straight until you see the Todd McFarlane Masters of Horror statues, then take a left. The tiara and yearbook should be somewhere around there, near the geek chic T-shirt rack.”
Of the high school things I found, I think the only thing that gave me a twinge of reminiscent joy was my varsity jacket. I loved that silly thing, with its pleather sleeves and all the pins on my letter. Here’s Loba Geeky Confession Number 8,648,097: I used to imagine that the bars were like TNG collar pips. As you can tell here, by the end of my high school sports career, I had reached the Starfleet rank of Captain (to go with the “real” Captain pins I earned). My increasingly creaky knees will attest to this ranking.
I suppose I should end this entry. I’m getting ready to break the 1,000 word barrier and all on utter silliness about my weekend. I will, however, leave you with the following as my parting shot. This was stuck to one of the drawers on my dad’s tool chest. It’s something he typed up while playing around with an old label maker that he found in his garage. See? I come by my geekiness quite honestly 😉
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