Flashback Friday: Hero-Less Edition

I guess this could fall under the category of “Copout Flashback.” This is another old post from my Angry BloggerTM days that I thought was worthy of re-posting. It’s funny how little my opinions have changed in the more than 4 years that have passed since I wrote this post. Okay, so this was before Spider-man 3…but that wasn’t Raimi’s fault!!

Whatever the case, I still stand by my desire for justice to be served. I guess, though, I should just be grateful that Singer hasn’t subjected us to a sequel to Stripper Pole Panties Superman: The High School Musical

12.04.06 :: hero-less edition
Non-political über-geek contemplation this morning: I think that Bryan Singer should be arrested and charged with one count of supercide and numerous counts of mutanticide. In abandoning the X-Men movie franchise that he helped establish, to direct Superman Returns, he successfully killed two super-hero series (one at its cinematic re-inauguration and the other during one of the most pivotal and poignant story lines ever conceived for a comic book).

Singer’s attempt at reanimating the Superman legacy was an almost complete failure. In fact, were in not for Kevin Spacey as Lex Luthor, I would have given this dud only one star on my Netflix list. He was the sole saving grace of this 2 1/2-hour time stealer. Even poor Parker Posey, who I usually adore in whatever role she’s in, just couldn’t save her albatross character.

First, the casting was atrocious. Spacey was the only properly cast main character…unless, of course, Singer was going for the Superman: The High School Years feel with the casting of two barely pubescent actors as Clark and Lois (Brandon Routh was born in 1979! Even worse, Kate Bosworth wasn’t born until 1983! No one born after the original movie debuted should have been considered for this movie!). That was just incredibly jarring . So were the special effects, which for the most part, looked cheesy and very obvious. What’s up with that? I think the special effects from the 1978 movie were more convincing than some of the effects in this movie.

And the pace was torturous. Heavy exposition is not always a bad thing for movies…but for a comic book-based movie? It’s a death knell. You want something swift and sparse. Lean and well-muscled, hitting the high points and trimming away the fat that is going to lose your audience’s attention. You want your script to look as good in spandex as your actors. This script would have looked like Jabba the Hut in a thong.

I don’t understand how Singer was so off on this movie. He got it so right with X-Men 1&2. Those two movies flowed with a marvelous pace, hitting all the important points. He did such a great job that I was able to, for the most part, forgive the liberties he and his writers took with some of my favorite characters (Rogue DOES NOT have a real name, dammit). He would have done better to stick with our favorite band of mutants, because I can’t imagine how anyone can fix the damage done by X-Men 3. That was painful…and so effing disappointing. The Phoenix saga is one of my all-time favorite stories. It’s so amazing all across the board. But this was just a homicidal slice-and-dice…although not nearly as miserable an experience as Superman Returns.

Is it just because Singer considers Superman so reverential that he wasn’t able to treat it with the same discerning eyes he used to write/contribute storyline ideas/direct the X-Men movies? That’s a poor excuse, though. I have two words: Sam Raimi. Look at what he has done for Spider-man. That’s how you bring a revered comic hero to the big screen.

Okay, I’m finished geek-ranting now. We now return to our regularly scheduled liberal blogging.