Brewer: Evolution Craft Brewing Company
Location: Salisbury, Maryland
Type: American Porter
ABV: 5.7%

Welcome to where we finally go off-road from the path of recognized and reliable flavors, denizens. Traveling slightly downwind from Delaware’s Dogfish Head, we find ourselves on the outskirts of Ocean City, in Salisbury, Maryland.

Ah, Salisbury. If only that scholarship had come through, I could have been a minion of Sammy Sea Gull rather than Testudo. Looking back, though, I realize that my life would be a lot less…Loba had I not ended up at UMCP, so I’m not put off by the way things played out at all.

What is off-putting (oh, the glorious segue!) is Evolution’s Lucky 7 Porter, today’s Darktober candidate. Prior to this beer, I’d only ever tried one other Evolution brew: their Primal Pale Ale. I received it as a birthday present, primarily because it has a howling wolf on its label (wonder why that would appeal to me?). I knew I couldn’t be an objective judge of this beer, however, because of my intrinsic aversion to pale ales. I also knew that I couldn’t judge the entire Evolution line based on this one beer, which is why I was willing to give Lucky 7 a proper go.

Nothing groundbreaking about the deep, rich color, although I was a little surprised by the immense fizzy head of bubbles that grew atop the darkness but quickly dissipated.

I know I haven’t mentioned the quality of the nose yet in my reviews. I hate using terms like that because it makes it sound like I actually know what I’m talking about. I don’t, denizens. I’m just really good at pretending. However, one of the main reasons that I like to drink my beers in a glass rather than from the bottle is because I do enjoy getting that double-whammy of sensory stimulation from being able to smell what I’m drinking.

The reason I’m finally mentioning the nose this time is because…it’s actually one of the first down notes of this beer. I’m sure that it’s something unique to my wonky palate (writes she who once described a sparkling wine as “tasting a bit like French fries”) but this beer smells unhappily like a bar of soap.

Once I forced myself beyond the unappetizing smell and took my first sip, my opinion of the beer sadly did not improve. Starting with a weak, watery mouth feel, this beer shifts to a mulchy m