Month: May 2009

Kiss My Kirk

~ lobablanca

kissmykirk

Love the glam-rock showmanship of KISS? Can’t get enough of the real James Tiberius Kirk? Then you need KISS My Kirk, the smash collection that’s sweeping the Alpha Quadrant! Packed to the hilt with hits like:

  • All-American Kirk
  • She’s So Orion
  • Tribbles of the Night
  • (City on the Edge of) Forever
  • God Gave Kirk, Spock and Bones to You
  • Fits Like a Girdle
  • Photon Torpedo Girl
  • Warp Machine

…and much, much more! Transfer 20 Federation credits to LobaBlanca.com and download your copy of KISS My Kirk today!

First 100 to download this collection will receive a free Tribble*.

*LobaBlanca.com is not responsible if the Tribble you receive is already pregnant. LobaBlanca.com warns you that you need to have at least 40 acres of land available to house the inevitable Tribble brood that you will inherit should you be one of the lucky recipients of a free Tribble. LobaBlanca.com also recommends that you learn how to grow quadrotriticale to feed your Tribbles. A lot of quadrotriticale.

(See what happens when I have some spare time and access to PhotoShop?)

Zen Runner

~ lobablanca

zenrunner

Methinks today is going to be quite a busy, lair-free day, but I thought I’d start my morning with a “geek still life” shot from my desk here at work. Enjoy!

Feed Fail Fixed

~ lobablanca

It was brought to my attention a few days ago that the RSS Feed link I added to the lair didn’t work properly. Ever since, I’ve been trying to understand why it wasn’t working and what I had to do to fix it. Truth be told, I’m still out of my element in this new WordPress world. Database work makes me sweat, and not in a good way.

I do believe, however, that I figured out the problem. So to anyone else out there who has tried to subscribe to my RSS Feed and received naught for your efforts, I offer both my humble apology and an invitation to try again.

And a tip of the paw to cohnee for the heads-up!

50BC09: Book Number 13

~ lobablanca

anglofiles

A “field guide to the British”? Never mind that it does make one imagine that the British are some kind of endangered species to be observed from a respectable distance, I must say that Sarah Lyall’s The Anglo Files: A Field Guide to the British was an entertaining and informative read.

Ms. Lyall is the stereotypical “Yankee in Queen Elizabeth’s Court,” a displaced American trying to make her way among our more refined but strangely similar cousins. The focus of her narrative is somewhat limited to the more commonly known “British” topics that we fail to understand here in the “practice colonies” but still find titillating: the royals, the tabloids, the food, the “stiff upper lip” mentality, cricket (the game, not the insect, you git), the politics of Parliament…and, yes, the teeth.

As the wife of an Englishman and the mother of two daughters split between the two worlds, Ms. Lyall can lay claim to a deeper understanding than most armchair Anglophiles (myself included). I do believe that she succeeds at helping her American compatriots understand a bit better what takes place on the other side of the pond, and the why of it all. Whether or not she got the why of it all as accurate as she should have is another question. If there are any British visitors to the lair who have read this book and would like to make any corrections, please click the link to my e-mail address, provided in the column to your right. I would very much enjoy hearing from you.

Final score: 4/5. All in all a thoroughly enjoyable read that provided this Anglophile with a deeper view of British life than I could ever glean from my quick hops to the Big Smoke. It has definitely earned its place on my bookshelf.

Now on to Alice Sebold’s The Almost Moon. I’m a bit worried as I have read nothing but negative reviews of this book. Are they based on the fact that nothing short of something dictated by God him/her/itself could thrive in the shadow of greatness cast by The Lovely Bones? Or is the criticism warranted?

We shall soon find out…

Jackass Democrat: Brian Moran

~ lobablanca

No, his last name isn’t Moron, but it might as well be. Seems that Brian Moran, one of three Democratic contenders in this year’s Virginia gubernatorial primary, is holding against Terry McAuliffe the fact that McAuliffe supported Hillary Clinton for president rather than Barack Obama.

What bothers me the most about these accusations is this:

Moran this week unveiled radio advertisements in the heavily African American communities of Hampton Roads and Richmond reminding voters of Clinton’s “3 a.m. phone call” ad that questioned Obama’s qualifications for the presidency.

By unveiling these ads in “heavily African American communities,” I can’t help but extrapolate a sinister unspoken accusation from Moran’s camp. It’s the same sinister accusation that WaPo op-ediot Eugene Robinson made when he wrote: “I know there’s a possibility that [W]hite Americans, when push comes to shove, won’t be able to bring themselves to elect a [B]lack man as president of the United States.”

Two different approaches, one seemingly similar message: If you’re White and you didn’t support Obama, it’s obviously because you’re racist and didn’t want to vote for a Black man.

Am I reading too much into this to think that Moran is trying to paint McAuliffe as racist because he chose to support HRC for president rather than Obama? As someone who glutted themselves to the point of political apathy on everything that pertained to the 2008 presidential race

Superpowers Not Included

~ lobablanca

Today, as the British would say, was utter pants.

No, that’s not it.

You know what ol’ Jack Burton always says about days like this.

No, that’s not it either.

Today stunk.

There! That’s what I was going for!

Yeah, so today really bit fuzzy puppies. I had a total crap day at work, to go along with a depressing string of crap days that really can’t be avoided and are, in fact, slated to come to an end very soon. But for the time being, utter crap. Then I came home to rejoin my regularly scheduled battle to their death with my seasonal foe, the house centipede. The little fuckers are already sprouting up in baby form. I greatly prefer the baby to the fully grown centipede, but they still freak the bejesus out of me. (Warning, if you are easily creeped out by bugs, you might not want to look at this picture; hell, even if you aren’t easily creeped out, you still might not want to look…I sure as hell wish I didn’t have to ever see another of these things again). I also discovered a few minutes ago that I bungled a file that I really didn’t need to bungle.

Crap.

But you know what made me feel better? Turning myself into a superhero. Yes, that’s right, thanks to the utter Canadian genius of my good friend, weathereye, I discovered the unmatchable joy of HeroMachine.com. Using Version 2.5, I made the following two images: One of me as my alter ego, LobaBlanca, with white wolf sidekick; and one of me in a DS9-era medical duty uniform, with white wolf sidekick (what? I’d totally have a wolf with me if I was a Starfleet officer).

Before you ask, I don’t know why I added a gun to my superhero version since I apparently can throw white-hot fireballs. i just thought it looked cool. And I wish I could have been holding a tricorder or a hypospray in the second picture, but I made do with what they had available. Anyway, these have sufficed to make my day a shred better than it’s been since I woke up. Hopefully, tomorrow will be even slightly better. And hopefully, by next week, everything will be right as rain.

lblb-dc

Queen for a Day

~ lobablanca

Okay, so Victoria was Queen of England for quite a bit more than just a day. However, in honor of Canada’s Victoria Day celebrations today, I’d like to direct you to one of my favorite comic strips, New Adventures of Queen Victoria. This strip, as “drawn” by Pab Sungenis, is more of a celebration of all things PhotoShop combined with a wicked sense of humor…er, humour.

Even better, today’s strip marks the beginning of a storyline that will focus on the new Star Trek movie. I warn you now, though…after skimming Pab’s blog, I do believe that he is planning on skewering the new movie quite a bit (although probably not as deeply as he skins it on his blog). Seems Mr. Sungenis did not care much for J.J. Abrams’ reboot of the Trek universe.

Ooh…controversy on Victoria Day!

Only In My Dreams

~ lobablanca

Debbie Gibson. Now there’s a linchpin name from my adolescence. Had all her tapes. Wanted a fedora like she wore in her Electric Youth days. Loved her. Don’t care that it lost me metal street cred.

Deborah Gibson. Playboy pictures, Beauty and the Beast, “Don’t call me Debbie”…and now this. This glorious trailer. It’s not a joke, but an actual straight-to-DVD movie called Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus. I guess it’s supposed to be cashing in on the success of the Alien vs. Predator franchise? Whatever it is, it’s kept me laughing all morning. I don’t even really have anything else to say about it. I just hope it makes someone else out there laugh as much as I have.

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fa7ck5mcd1o&hl=en&fs=1&color1=0x006699&color2=0x54abd6&border=1]

Flashback Friday: Orbitz

~ lobablanca
Some people will swallow anything...
Some people will swallow anything...

As someone who has formed several unique and cherished friendships with some of Canada’s loveliest representatives, it saddens me today to have to tell you all that not all that comes from the Great White North is wonderful. I offer as my only exhibit (and perhaps the only exhibit I will need): Orbitz.

Long before it became synonymous with online travel planning, Orbitz was a truly heinous “texturally enhanced” drink idea introduced to North America by Vancouver’s Clearly Canadian beverage company. What does “texturally enhanced” mean? It means that there were chewy little bits of flavor-freaky gel balls suspended in clear liquid that was only a shade or two less syrupy than drinking Karo syrup.

Yes, I do believe that Orbitz was the only drink in history with balls. You’d have to have balls to put this out as a serious idea. And, yes, the bottles pictured are from my very own collection. Sadly, I am such a hoarder that I saved unopened bottles of this stuff. I made a special trip, in fact, to buy these bottles after drinking half a bottle of the vanilla orange flavor (seen on the far left of this photo). Why? Because A) I knew immediately that this drink was not going to make it beyond a hopefully very-short-lived novelty period; and B) I doubted it would ever make it up to the D.C. area. These were purchased in the great taste-testing hot bed of North Carolina. And, no, I never did see them in my neck of the woods.

And for the record, not only did I endure a half bottle of the liquid, I also consumed quite a few of the gel spheres. Yes, I swallowed. I even chewed, which turned out to be a not so great idea. The spheres had the taste and consistency of chewing on a vitamin C-flavored phlegm ball. I will say this though: Orbitz was one of the first products that I can remember tapping into the marketing potential of the Internet. Check the silver lids: They’re imprinted with the drink’s Web site, the now usurped www.orbitz.com.

True, this isn’t that far of a flashback today: I found Orbitz in July of 1997, not long after it was introduced to the American market. I never saw it again after that crazy, syrupy summer. But I’m proud to say that I have tangible evidence that even Canadians make bad decisions every now and again. We could learn a lesson from them, however, in how to let go of a bad idea before it gets out of hand. Too bad “W” wasn’t a Canadian product…

Delivering Happy

~ lobablanca

How, you might be wondering, can one deliver “happy”? Allow me to show you:

stvset

Yes, my friends, that would be all seven seasons of Star Trek: Voyager, still in their sealed DVD boxes. Delivered right to my door. That is how you deliver happy. And who made this wonderful delivery? The U.S. Postal Service! They paid for my education and now they bring me packages full of happy.

And why am I so surprised that they are all still wrapped? Because this is another one of my famous “used” purchases. I told you before that I’m cheap. So when I found this set for an AMAZING price, I went ahead and purchased it, fully expecting it to be a used set from someone’s collection, with some shelf wear on the packaging. Yet again, one of these sellers has blown me away by sending me a brand new product.

I think the USPS should consider changing their tagline from “Neither snow nor sleet nor blah-blah-whatever” to “USPS: Delivering Happy Straight to Your Door.”

Works for me.